The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava."The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students en

In this memo, the committee argues that sufficient money collected by reducing education budget should be used for adults welfare like developing city facilities and programs. To support this argument, the author points out that the birthrate in this city is declining and reasons that Calatrava will face decline enrollment in public schools which will lead to budget reduction in education. The author also reasons that by using money in adults welfare will eventually bring up population increase. However, the argument seems specious in several grounds.

To begin with, the argument relies on the assumption that the decline in public schools enrollment will be in dramatic phase turns out to be reliable. What if Calatrava is administratively combined with adjacent cities and become the main city of that area, the public school enrollment won’t be dramatic. Although population decline issue cannot be solved right away but still the effort to aim population increase should not be overlooked also. What if the birthrate increases in the next 5 years even it is meager? Thus it is an over-generalization to conclude that the birthrate will be in decrease mode steadily and for that reason, reducing the future education budget isn’t reliable.

Even if, the memo fails to provide evidence to support this assumption. Due to such rapid decline leads to reducing education budgets, the funds should be used in programs aiming students to experience various job professionals like job expos. Population decline is expected to strike national issues economically and a skew of scholars are solicitous about the nation’s maintenance. With low population, it is difficult to resolve unwanted conflicts between different social classes as unbalanced displacement in various industry fields may cause income discrepancies. Thus students need to be exposed to rather more various experiences.

Furthermore, the author relies on the assumption that collecting sufficient money is expected due to reducing education budgets is a hasty assumption. Perhaps, the money will be consumed for other purposes such as promoting job establishments or funding bench enterprises. Even more, if the money spend on those fields excess the expected budget then the economy will be facing some critical deficits and will take numerous years to overcome which could bring economic stagnation to the city.

In sum, the argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it, the author must provide better evidence that the city will remain in current status with no city mergers. To better assess the argument we would need to know if there will be sufficient money collected due to budget reduce.

Votes
Average: 4.1 (3 votes)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 447, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...ation increase should not be overlooked also. What if the birthrate increases in the...
^^^^
Line 3, column 524, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... in the next 5 years even it is meager? Thus it is an over-generalization to conclud...
^^^^
Line 5, column 576, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... fields may cause income discrepancies. Thus students need to be exposed to rather m...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, look, may, so, still, then, thus, such as, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 30.0 16.3942115768 183% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2280.0 2260.96107784 101% => OK
No of words: 422.0 441.139720559 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.4028436019 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53239876712 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91661401581 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 204.123752495 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.521327014218 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 712.8 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.8278034836 57.8364921388 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.0 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.1 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.65 5.70786347227 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.141875998597 0.218282227539 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0461008401355 0.0743258471296 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0515265833239 0.0701772020484 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0804198395566 0.128457276422 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0383172141446 0.0628817314937 61% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 14.3799401198 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.04 12.5979740519 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.09 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 98.500998004 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- not exactly. need to argue:

At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities.

argument 3 -- not exactly. need to argue:

As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase.
--------------------

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 424 350
No. of Characters: 2216 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.538 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.226 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.82 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 179 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 132 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 99 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.711 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.292 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.522 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.055 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5