In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What are the causes and measurements?

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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What are the causes and measurements?

Nowadays, in most modern countries, people are suffering from obesity and related health problems. Children, in particular, are the most victims of the side effects of this modern lifestyle. Needless to say, dramatic advances in nation's hobbies and feeding attitudes play a pivotal role in the current trend. Bellow, some solutions will be represented in order to tackle the problem.

On the one hand, children are increasingly turing to sedentary activities in their leisure times. In other words, thanks to the technological advances, children are spending their spare times sitting in front of screens playing electrical games rather than going outside to attend in physical activities such as playing soccer. Therefore, our young generation has confronted to gaining weight and following undesirable health issues such as cardiovascular failures.

However, another reason behind this taking on weight is people's feeding habits. Nowadays, people prefer to eat fast foods more than home made meals. Obviously, fast foods and processed foods are the main source of extra fats. Therefore, not only do these kind of foods make us fat but also they are strip of nutrients.

On the other hand, there are numerous solutions to acquire our lost fitness and cherish the preciousness of health. Firstly,government should erect public services in the form of sport equipment probably aside with the huge attractive billboards with some positive statements about their effects on both physical and mental healths. Hence, this will caught citizens' attractions and entice them to utilize free equipment.

Secondly, the media is subjected to encourage people towards having healthier and more nourishment foods. Some TV programs for instance, should be allocated to public awareness of the negative impacts of fast foods such as pizzas and sandwiches on their fitness and health.

To warp up, health is a valuable gift to all of us that we should care about. Moreover, the pattern of our living has changed into having motionless lives. Also, our attitudes towards foods has switched remarkably. Thus, the government and mass media should make a balance to the way people are handling with the fraud of the modern life.

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2013-08-11 dido272000 77 view
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Sentence: On the one hand, children are increasingly turing to sedentary activities in their leisure times.
Error: turing Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
It is not well organized. Look at the one below we modified a little which can get 8.0.

Be sensitive to use 'On the other hand', 'However','Nonetheless' in the essays.

'On the other hand' means However. It doesn't mean 'On another hand'

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 350 350
No. of Characters: 1813 1500
No. of Different Words: 210 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.325 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.18 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.571 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.874 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.272 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.562 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5

Nowadays, in most modern countries, people are suffering from obesity and related health problems. Children, in particular, are the most victims of the side effects of this modern lifestyle. Needless to say, dramatic advances in nation's hobbies and feeding attitudes play a pivotal role in the current trend. Bellow, some solutions will be represented in order to tackle the problem.

On the one hand, children are increasingly turing to sedentary activities in their leisure times. In other words, thanks to the technological advances, children are spending their spare times sitting in front of screens playing electrical games rather than going outside to attend in physical activities such as playing soccer. Therefore, our young generation has confronted to gaining weight and following undesirable health issues such as cardiovascular failures. Another reason behind this taking on weight is people's feeding habits. Nowadays, people prefer to eat fast foods more than home made meals. Obviously, fast foods and processed foods are the main source of extra fats. Therefore, not only do these kind of foods make us fat but also they are strip of nutrients.

On the other hand, there are numerous solutions to acquire our lost fitness and cherish the preciousness of health. Firstly,government should erect public services in the form of sport equipment probably aside with the huge attractive billboards with some positive statements about their effects on both physical and mental healths. Hence, this will caught citizens' attractions and entice them to utilize free equipment. Secondly, the media is subjected to encourage people towards having healthier and more nourishment foods. Some TV programs for instance, should be allocated to public awareness of the negative impacts of fast foods such as pizzas and sandwiches on their fitness and health.

To warp up, health is a valuable gift to all of us that we should care about. The government and mass media should make a balance to the way people are handling with the fraud of the modern life.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 8.0 out of 9
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 328 350
No. of Characters: 1689 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.256 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.149 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.58 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.222 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.738 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.279 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.48 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.088 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5