We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
The arguments assumes that Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own cafe. The argument would be correct if the premises which it was based one were true. However, in presenting the recommendation, the author has not provided evidence to support its recommendation.
The author assumes that opening a cafe at Monarch books would attract more customers, and better compete with Regal Books which recently opened its own cafe. referring that these two book stores are the same even though they could differ in their location or type of people who attend to the book store, there is no evidence that supports the fact that if they open a cafe at Monarch book store, it will attract more people or better compete with the Regal book store.
Also, another assumption made was that the the discontinuation of the children's book section and instead making space there for the cafe, counting on the national census which indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. This assumption could be not very accurate because it didn't confirm that closing the children's section will not result in significant loss. Also, the author has not indicated to which is the percentage of children population that attend the monarch book or the number of sales of children books during the year. Which if it was good percentage of sales could cause a true drop down in the sales profit, also the children bring their parents who also buy books themselves.
In conclusion, the author's argument that by opening a cafe within bookstore, more customers will be attracted and Monarch Books can better compete with Regal Books who have opened a cafe recently, may be valid. However, in pointing out his argument, there was not enough supporting evidence to support his assumption. In the absence of any supporting evidences to the assumptions pointed out, the recommendation is not likely to have the predicted results.
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- The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals. 53
- We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening th 50
Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
For GRE argument essays, at least 3 arguments wanted.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 336 350
No. of Characters: 1648 1500
No. of Different Words: 153 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.281 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.905 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.568 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 114 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.545 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 18.671 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.39 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.632 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 15, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[1]
Message: You should probably use 'assume'.
Suggestion: assume
The arguments assumes that Opening a café will allow Monarch...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 27, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The arguments assumes that Opening a café will allow Monarch to att...
^^
Line 3, column 159, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Referring
...oks which recently opened its own cafe. referring that these two book stores are the same...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 40, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
... Also, another assumption made was that the the discontinuation of the childrens book s...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 40, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
... Also, another assumption made was that the the discontinuation of the childrens book s...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 186, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...g on the national census which indicated a significant decline in the percentage ...
^^
Line 5, column 315, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...n could be not very accurate because it didnt confirm that closing the childrens sect...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 579, Rule ID: IF_IS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'is'?
Suggestion: is
...f children books during the year. Which if it was good percentage of sales could c...
^^
Line 7, column 20, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...books themselves. In conclusion, the authors argument that by opening a cafe within ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, may, so, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 55.5748502994 67% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1686.0 2260.96107784 75% => OK
No of words: 335.0 441.139720559 76% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.0328358209 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.27820116611 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61396765669 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 158.0 204.123752495 77% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.471641791045 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 523.8 705.55239521 74% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.792592893 57.8364921388 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 140.5 119.503703932 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.9166666667 23.324526521 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.41666666667 5.70786347227 60% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.276996251805 0.218282227539 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.103279200929 0.0743258471296 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0902312015769 0.0701772020484 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.176355184964 0.128457276422 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0752801030744 0.0628817314937 120% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.2 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 48.3550499002 91% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.19 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.13 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 98.500998004 68% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.