The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café.
In this argument, the author claims that opening a cafe shop in the Monarch Books can has lots of benefits. The argument seems to be some validity at first glance, but we immediately found out several logical mistakes throughout the whole article. My reasons can be substantiated by the incoming comments:
To begin with, the author says that opening the space can be made for the cafe shop by decreasing the children's book section which the census indicated that it will become less popular. However, we do not know what the sources of this census. What if the sample of this census just about twenty people? And what if the sample is did at others places? If the census' sample is not based on the people living in Monarch, the census would be not veracious. Therefore, the author need to answer these questions.
Furthermore, what if the policy of local schools change? It is possible that the school policy would influence the demand for the children's books. If children have to read more books or their parents want to increase their literacy skill before attend the school in the future, they need the children's section in the bookstore. Parents would not like to go to Monarch Books if the children's section are be removed.
Even if the census is true, it is not to say that people living in there would like to go to buy a cup of coffee. What if people living there do not like to drink coffee? For example, there was a coffee shop in my town last year. However, people living in my town do not like to drink coffee. The coffee shop eventually closed just through few weeks. The author have to answer this question to provide the evidence that people would attracted by coffee.
To sum up, the author would have to provide answers to respond those questions in detail to make valid assumption he provided. Without such answers, we cannot jump to the conclusion that opening the cafe shop has lots of benefits. All in all, if the author provides more answers and mends the logical mistakes, then the argument would be more persuasive.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 362 350
No. of Characters: 1642 1500
No. of Different Words: 172 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.362 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.536 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.257 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 121 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 70 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 39 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 21 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.455 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.044 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.312 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.547 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.173 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 330, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'done'.
Suggestion: done
...wenty people? And what if the sample is did at others places? If the census sample ...
^^^
Line 13, column 434, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'attract'
Suggestion: attract
... provide the evidence that people would attracted by coffee. To sum up, the author w...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, however, if, so, then, therefore, for example, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1702.0 2260.96107784 75% => OK
No of words: 362.0 441.139720559 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.70165745856 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36191444098 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.34971180561 2.78398813304 84% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 204.123752495 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.472375690608 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 510.3 705.55239521 72% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 48.2285281727 57.8364921388 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 81.0476190476 119.503703932 68% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.2380952381 23.324526521 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.57142857143 5.70786347227 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.112372853496 0.218282227539 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0352050140403 0.0743258471296 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0392903147414 0.0701772020484 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0653179456758 0.128457276422 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0296450037432 0.0628817314937 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.3 14.3799401198 65% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 71.14 48.3550499002 147% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 12.197005988 62% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.68 12.5979740519 77% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.31 8.32208582834 88% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 98.500998004 66% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.