TPO-17 - Independent Writing Task
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Most advertisements make products seem much better then they really are.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Since the dawn of marketing, there has been an increase in the use of advertising to introduce and show the products to customers. With this in mind, a controversy exists on whether the advertisements bring about products appear better than their reality or not. Some people believe that advertisements do nothing but providing some real information about products for customers, while others hold this view that most advertisements provide an unreality information about products and cause products seem better than they really are. I, personally, agree that the advertisements result in an incorrect information about products and cause them seem better than reality and provide some reason to support my point of view, Two of which will be illustrated in the following paragraphs.
The first reason why I agree that advertisement result in products seems better than reality is that the one on of the most important feature of advertising is marketing, attracting more customers, therefore, this principle uses a wide variety of methods to make products seem luxurious to customers. The more luxurious the product, the more increase in their sell. Such an example, last year my family and I were going to buy a new television for our home. Consequently, we watched a lot of advertisement and also read some useful catalog in order to achieve some information about a proper television in terms of price, quality to name but a few. Finally, all my family reached an agreement to buy a television which was seemed appropriate for us. after buying this television, we found that all the advertisement that we had watched were nothing but exaggerating. They exaggerated the products particularly this television. As a result, if the company had not advertised this television in that way, we would not have bought the television.
The second reason that should be mentioned in supporting my view that advertisement exaggerated products are that today's world is a competitive world in all fields and marketing is not an exception. Companies use advertising in an exaggerated way to win this competition and advocate more bazaar to themselves. The more you be successful in competition, the better would be your future. I am now working on the strategies using by companies to overcome any obstacles in terms of the rival company they use advertisement to reach their goal. One renowned company in my country which has a lot of income and sells a lot of its product and wins this tough competition using this way of advertising, exaggerating the products.
All in all, by taking all the aforementioned reasons and examples into account, it is concluded that most advertisements make products seem much better because not only does company want to attract more customer, but they are much more eager to win the competition from other company.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 110, Rule ID: ON_OF_THE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one'?
Suggestion: one
...ems better than reality is that the one on of the most important feature of advert...
^^
Line 5, column 226, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an exaggerated way" with adverb for "exaggerated"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...an exception. Companies use advertising in an exaggerated way to win this competition and advocate mo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, finally, first, if, really, second, so, therefore, while, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 43.0788530466 111% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 52.1666666667 113% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.0752688172 186% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2383.0 1977.66487455 120% => OK
No of words: 465.0 407.700716846 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.1247311828 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64369019777 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.06960452861 2.67179642975 115% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 212.727598566 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.475268817204 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 758.7 618.680645161 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 74.7716688936 48.9658058833 153% => OK
Chars per sentence: 132.388888889 100.406767564 132% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.8333333333 20.6045352989 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.22222222222 5.45110844103 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.233897002014 0.236089414692 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0768427342939 0.076458572812 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0615855414763 0.0737576698707 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.15557812477 0.150856017488 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0453054480308 0.0645574589148 70% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 11.7677419355 133% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 58.1214874552 79% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 10.9000537634 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.8 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 86.8835125448 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 10.002688172 155% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.