Advertisements of toys and fast food nowadays are usually aiming at children. Some say that this has a negative effect on children as well as their family. Do you agree or disagree?
In the current days, fast food and toys companies tend to make advertisements which are aiming at kids. However, some people believe these advertisements have negative effects on families, while others don't. As for my opinion, I believe these advertisements are harmful for children and for their families as well and I'm going to explain two main reasons why these advertisements are negative for children.
First of all, these advertisements tend to star famous actors or popular athletes. For example, one of my neighbor's son keeps buying some famous energy drink daily because he saw advertisements for it that he would win FIFA world cup ticket in one of these energy drink cans. So, he decided to keep buying whenever he gets any money, his dad recommended him not to buy this product because it is fatal for his nervous system. His son refused to obey his father and he kept buying this unhealthy drink, one day, his moves were too extraordinary which freaked everyone out. So, his parents went to the doctor and the doctor said that his nervous system is corrupted and he needs surgery to recover.
Secondly, these advertisements aim children that buying more of their products would make them more special. For example, one of my friend's daughter saw an advertisement of some pony toy which is collectible that said if she collected the whole collection, she would win a ticket to some amusement park. Eventually she kept buying these toys whenever she got any chance. The way she kept buying these toys made her parents paranoid, she even didn't open these toys. Her mom recommended her to stop buying these toys since she didn't open them and she promised her that if she listened to her, she will take her to some amusement park. But, the little girl refused, she kept buying these toys until she finished the whole collection. However, her parents had terrible economic
problems.
In my conclusion, these companies should make their less effective for children by not adding competitions in their products ads and they should not star famous characters in their ads.
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Comments
Thanks for the notes. And I
Thanks for the notes.
And I fixed these errors.
Sentence: So, he decided to kept buying whenever he gets any money, his dad recommended him not to buy this product because it is fatal for his nervous system.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and kept
Sentence: So, he parents went to the doctor and the doctor said that his nervous system is corrupted and he needs surgery to recover.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to he and parents
Sentence: For example, one of my friend's daughter saw an advertisement of some pony toy which is collectable which said that if she collected the whole collection, she would win a ticket to some amusement park.
Description: The fragment 'which is collectable which' is rare
Sentence: For example, one of my friend's daughter saw an advertisement of some pony toy which is collectable which said that if she collected the whole collection, she would win a ticket to some amusement park.
Error: collectable Suggestion: collectible
flaws:
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.334 0.07
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 357 350
No. of Characters: 1693 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.347 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.742 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.609 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 108 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.895 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.37 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.595 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.334 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5