The following appeared in a recommendation from the president of Amburg's Chamber of Commerce
Last October the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined within a month. The city of Amburg has recently begun police patrols on bicycles in its business district, but the rate of vandalism there remains constant. We should install high-intensity lighting throughout Amburg, then, because doing so is a more effective way to combat crime. By reducing crime in this way, we can revitalize the declining neighborhoods in our city
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The President of Amburg’s Chamber of Commerce recommended that the city of Belleville should install high intensity lightening this will lead to declining the vandalism. This argument is not entirely logically convincing, since it lacks crucial information and evidences to support the argument.
Firstly, there is no statistics done before or after installation of the high-intensity lightning in the central business district of the city of Belleville to prove that there is a direct relationship between the declining rate of vandalism and the installation of the high-intensity lightening. He assumed that the rate declined upon the lightening installation. The crime rate could have controlled by publicizing the punishments imposed by the law onto these criminals. People would gradually learn the law works and they would avoid indulging into these activities out of fear. Or the government has imposed restrictions on the purchase of weapons.
Secondly, the author assumed that the rate of crime in the city of Amburg remained constant without mentioning the exact rate, and this rate could have been very trivial that was not affected by the number of police patrols on bicycles in the business districts. He is recommending that the city should install the high-intensity lightning to control the crime late. He ignored the timing of the crime which could be in day time not at night and this would prove that the lightening has no effect on the vandalism and crime rate.
Last but not least, he supposed that revitalizing the neighborhoods in the city will depend mainly on controlling the crime rate. While the decline in the neighborhoods maybe due to decrease or lack of facilities or increasing number of factories that increase the level of pollution. Therefore decreasing the crime rate will not be the main reason for revitalizing the city.
To conclude, there is a flaw in the argument and the recommendations of the president of the chamber of commerce that the high-intensity lightening will lead to decrease the rate of Vandalism and crime is not logically convincing. The author ignored very important facts that will have an effect on the rate of crime more than the lightening system.
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| 2013-08-23 | Reham Youssef | 80 | view |
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.347 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.12 4.6
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Sentence Length SD: 10.931 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.375 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.6 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.128 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5