Humans arrived in the Kaliko Islands about 7,000 years ago, and within 3,000 years most of the large mammal species that had lived in the forests of the Kaliko Islands had become extinct. Yet humans cannot have been a factor in the species' extinctions, because there is no evidence that the humans had any significant contact with the mammals. Further, archaeologists have discovered numerous sites where the bones of fish had been discarded, but they found no such areas containing the bones of large mammals, so the humans cannot have hunted the mammals. Therefore, some climate change or other environmental factor must have caused the species' extinctions.
First of all, the argument claims that the Humans arrived in Kaliko Islands about 7,000 years ago,and within 3,000 years most of the large mammal that had lived in forests of the Kaliko Island become extinct. This is merely an assumption with much solid ground. Because the argument does not state that how many mammal species become extinct. If the argument provide some statistical data about large mammal than argument are more convincing. For example, the argument stated that 80 percent mammal species become extinct than we will easily understand the whole scenario of kaliko island. Also the author provide whole situation and describe all mammal with it 7000 year ago situation and after 3000 years situation than this argument become more plausible.
Second, the argument stated that Environment factors and climate change is responsible for extinction of large mammals. This is again weak and unpersuasive argument. Because it may be possible in large mammlas infected with some malicious dieases, due to this dieases large mammals become extinction. Also the argument cites that the archaeologist have discovered numeroud sites where the bones of fish discarded but no any place where bones of large mammals found, so human is not responsible for extinction of large mammals. This is again weak and unsupported claim. Because, archaeologist implicitly assume that if human responsible for hunting than some bones of large mammals found in forest. But it is also possible some other animal hunt this large mammal and it's bones found in some place. And also it is not important that if human responsible for hunting than surely bones found in some places it may be possible human are throw-away it's bones out side of the forests.
In conclusion, The author's arguments are unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it further the author must provide better concrete evidences. It considerably strenegthed if author mentions all relevant facts. In order to asses the merits of the critical situation it is essential to have a depth knowledge about contributing factors. As a result, Thr author's conclusion has a no legs to stands.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: Because it may be possible in large mammlas infected with some malicious dieases, due to this dieases large mammals become extinction.
Error: mammlas Suggestion: mammas
Error: dieases Suggestion: diseases
Sentence: Also the argument cites that the archaeologist have discovered numeroud sites where the bones of fish discarded but no any place where bones of large mammals found, so human is not responsible for extinction of large mammals.
Error: numeroud Suggestion: numerous
Sentence: It considerably strenegthed if author mentions all relevant facts.
Error: strenegthed Suggestion: strengthen
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argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 347 350
No. of Characters: 1762 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.316 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.078 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.547 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.263 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.346 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.684 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.323 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.495 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
Hey, can you provide me
Hey, can you provide me suggestion in this argument essay because I find only two flaws in this topic if I write two major flaw than it is sufficient ? What is my mistake in this essay ? Please give me some suggestion !!
There are a lot of samples in
There are a lot of samples in testbig site. Need to search and find a good one. for this topic, this is the one:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/humans-arrived-kal…
read the topic and comments carefully.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 98, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , and
... in Kaliko Islands about 7,000 years ago,and within 3,000 years most of the large ma...
^^^^
Line 1, column 263, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...y an assumption with much solid ground. Because the argument does not state that how ma...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 344, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...how many mammal species become extinct. If the argument provide some statistical d...
^^
Line 1, column 591, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...nd the whole scenario of kaliko island. Also the author provide whole situation and ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 302, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ieases large mammals become extinction. Also the argument cites that the archaeologi...
^^^^
Line 3, column 418, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...s where the bones of fish discarded but no any place where bones of large mammals ...
^^
Line 3, column 955, Rule ID: OUT_SIDE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'outside'?
Suggestion: outside
...possible human are throw-away its bones out side of the forests. In conclusion, The ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 145, Rule ID: PRP_RB_NO_VB[1]
Message: Are you missing a verb?
...t provide better concrete evidences. It considerably strenegthed if author mentions all relevant facts. ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, second, so, for example, in conclusion, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.9520958084 31% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 55.5748502994 59% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1794.0 2260.96107784 79% => OK
No of words: 346.0 441.139720559 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.18497109827 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31289638616 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61218599141 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 204.123752495 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.491329479769 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 562.5 705.55239521 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 53.6848297178 57.8364921388 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.4210526316 119.503703932 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.2105263158 23.324526521 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.84210526316 5.70786347227 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 5.15768463074 58% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.307212393703 0.218282227539 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0866396077095 0.0743258471296 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.145052595473 0.0701772020484 207% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.183099464675 0.128457276422 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.166186061733 0.0628817314937 264% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.3799401198 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.76 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.32 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 98.500998004 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Minimum four paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.