Every day we hear different news from different sources. Some have effect in our life some do not. In my oppinion, paying too much attention to different news and events can distract us and is waste of time. so, I disagree to the sentence that it is important to know about everything happening around the world even if it they will not affect our life.
First of all,we are living in the world full of distraction. Being focused to be successful is very important for every body. Every day we hear sad news from different places in the world that some have been in pain and disaster. If we could not focus on our work due to these heartbroken and sad news ,we can not change our world and be stuck to our situation. Nowing about these sad things which happens every day, do not solve their problem and just can hurt us. We may be inspire by some news but most of the news are about bad things. Thinking or knowing about these bad news and event can change our mood spontaunously and reduce our efficiency. Lots of deppressed people all around changes the mood of environment and would harm every body in the society. For instance, there was a news of people who do not have water or food to eat. We can not do much for them we just have sympathy for them which is not helpful for them as well and nobody would benefit from these bad news. It is nice for activist to be involve in these matters but ordinary people can not do much. Therefore, knowing about every events and news can just delay our success and our focus in our life.
Also, we have a limited time and we do not have infinite time. In other words, we have to use our time efficienly to improve ourselves. Having information about lots of different things is time consuming and will waste our time. We have to prioritize our responsibilities based on their importance.Therefore, time management means we have to be away from wasting our time on different news in the world.
In conclusion, Although some news and events are inspiring and motivating, most of the news are about sad things that we can not do much for them. Not only they waste our time, but also they distract us from focusing on our goal and make our mood depressed.
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- TPO 1, Integrated Writing 3
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 209, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...s can distract us and is waste of time. so, I disagree to the sentence that it is ...
^^
Line 2, column 13, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , we
... will not affect our life. First of all,we are living in the world full of distrac...
^^^
Line 2, column 301, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...rk due to these heartbroken and sad news ,we can not change our world and be stuck...
^^
Line 2, column 787, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'news'.
Suggestion: news
...in the society. For instance, there was a news of people who do not have water or food...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 298, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Therefore
...ponsibilities based on their importance.Therefore, time management means we have to be aw...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, so, therefore, well, for instance, in conclusion, first of all, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 13.8261648746 159% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 57.0 43.0788530466 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1795.0 1977.66487455 91% => OK
No of words: 405.0 407.700716846 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.43209876543 4.8611393121 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48604634366 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47380299641 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 177.0 212.727598566 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.437037037037 0.524837075471 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 571.5 618.680645161 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.4449096795 48.9658058833 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 81.5909090909 100.406767564 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.4090909091 20.6045352989 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.77272727273 5.45110844103 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 3.85842293907 337% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.126223241251 0.236089414692 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0550921406948 0.076458572812 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0826241187215 0.0737576698707 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108579842549 0.150856017488 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0754117365464 0.0645574589148 117% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.6 11.7677419355 73% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 58.1214874552 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 10.1575268817 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.41 10.9000537634 77% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.95 8.01818996416 87% => OK
difficult_words: 62.0 86.8835125448 71% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.002688172 60% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.