In this report the author told us that the arctic deer live on Canada's Artic area ,which feed by the plants at warm area, move through the ice to get their habitat and forage for food, due to the global warming, the separate ice was going to melt, the author concluded that they can not find the way to the promising land of them, thus the deer population going down. There are some obvious question which could not connect the observation and conclusion of the author, as the author did not make more investigation of this kind of deer like the food they eat, the group conditon and the living area of them like the anthropogenic influence is my concern.
First of all, the author told us that the deer feed on plants on warm area, so they need to go the warm place to get food. I doubt that wheher this kind of deer really eat the plant in warm plalce only, as how can they survive at the Artic Region? I suppose there is something else that the deer can eat. There is another possibility that they go the the warm palce to reproduce the descends not only for food.So the author need to make more ivestigation of this immigration of deer from food to the genuine reason for going to the warm place.
Another point is the author got the information, from the hunters , that the number of the deer is declining. Then the author concluded that global-warming which made the ice melt is the reason why the deer could not find the way to the warm place. This is an interesting view from reason to the result. The hunters did not tell us to what extent the deer population is declining ,because there was a trivial reduce of the number. What's more, it is the information given by hunters, so I doubt if the hunters told the truth because the are professional at hunting deers. And there is a remarkable possibility it is the hunters who killed extradinary deer make the slump of the deer population. I suggest the author to make a wide survey apart from hunters because of their occupation.
Thirdly, the author told us this way to warm area was a certain routine of deer from generation to generation. There is no evidence show this point that this is the only way. I doubt maybe there is another way to the area which have been developed by human ,eg. roads or building so ,the deer could not find the way.
In conclusion ,I suggest the author to make a complete survey.
- Colleges and universities should require their students to spend at least one semester studying in a foreign country.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position 66
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- TOEFL T P O 46 - Integrated Writing Task 3
- The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books."Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago, Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books on all su 69
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 439 350
No. of Characters: 1889 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.577 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.303 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.319 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 101 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 67 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 39 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.824 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.217 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.706 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.396 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.601 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.165 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 82, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...e arctic deer live on Canadas Artic area ,which feed by the plants at warm area, m...
^^
Line 3, column 348, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...ere is another possibility that they go the the warm palce to reproduce the descends no...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 348, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...ere is another possibility that they go the the warm palce to reproduce the descends no...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 411, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: So
...eproduce the descends not only for food.So the author need to make more ivestigati...
^^
Line 5, column 66, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...or got the information, from the hunters , that the number of the deer is declinin...
^^
Line 5, column 380, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... extent the deer population is declining ,because there was a trivial reduce of th...
^^
Line 5, column 432, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
...ere was a trivial reduce of the number. Whats more, it is the information given by hu...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 483, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... it is the information given by hunters, so I doubt if the hunters told the truth...
^^
Line 5, column 534, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...t if the hunters told the truth because the are professional at hunting deers. And ther...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 257, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... area which have been developed by human ,eg. roads or building so ,the deer could...
^^
Line 7, column 263, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Roads
...which have been developed by human ,eg. roads or building so ,the deer could not find...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 283, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...loped by human ,eg. roads or building so ,the deer could not find the way. In c...
^^
Line 9, column 14, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...could not find the way. In conclusion ,I suggest the author to make a complete ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, if, may, really, so, then, third, thirdly, thus, apart from, i suppose, in conclusion, kind of, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1944.0 2260.96107784 86% => OK
No of words: 438.0 441.139720559 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.43835616438 5.12650576532 87% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57476223824 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.37208930375 2.78398813304 85% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.426940639269 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 596.7 705.55239521 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 82.7782997746 57.8364921388 143% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.0 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.3333333333 23.324526521 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.38888888889 5.70786347227 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 5.25449101796 247% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.224063049437 0.218282227539 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0729316550266 0.0743258471296 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0693576027355 0.0701772020484 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.123143719725 0.128457276422 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0909210889146 0.0628817314937 145% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.04 48.3550499002 132% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.77 12.5979740519 70% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.1 8.32208582834 85% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 98.500998004 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 27.0 12.3882235529 218% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.