To begin with, the author does not tell us the reason of declining profits. In the movie rental enterprise,there are many possiblity could cause this decling, as the customers would like to wath movie online, or there is another strong sompetetor in the market. Hence we can not find the reason of declining ,the author should not take the measure he proposes in this memo, which could bring more troubles in the future.
So let's discuss hie measures. The author suggest to reduce all the ten stores opening time which would close at six in the evening instead of nine. Acutally this is not a wise choice. Firstly, this closing hour may prevent the potential customer who are willing to go to the store after six because of the time after work possiblly.Hence maybe lots of people could go home and rent a DVD on the way meanwhile after a wholeday's working. Secondly,even if this reducing time works , it mere does at a single store locates downtown where mayby full of te poor homeless after work.While whether this sucssess could replicate in the other nine stores is still in question.
More over, as a movie fan, who share lots of common with people around the wolrd like old movies, it would be a tragedy to reduce the overall DVDs relesased five years ago, which is not very far from now, let alone the Choplins' perhaps.So This is another bad choice if the author do not make an exhaustive survey to find out what kind of movies the people around the stores like. In addition, lots of people are not a fan of certain kind of movies like the old , thus ,it would be a catastrophy for all of the consumers.
Finally, the feedbacks were not convincing. Given the owner tells us by the mearsure practiced in the downtown store, they received few complaints about this changing, while there are three possiblities. One, they are really OK with this which the owner is happy to see.Two, there is few consumer in the downtown thus few complaints. I suggest this store should be closed to improve the profit in this situation.Three, which is high possible, there are silent majorities who will leave without a farewell. To be specific, even few complaints do not mean there is little complanits as there maybe a lot of consumers will not go to th movie rental stores anymore with this implement.
In conslusion, I fully comprehend this owner of movie rental stores.But his plans are not well supported by the evidence and facts which should be surveyed carefully.Every boss will worry about the declining profits. In my opinion, the owner should find out why the profits is going down, meanwhile he should make a wide instigation to make clear the ten movie rental stores local conditions, like the environments and consumers' favors.
- 2.The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of a food distribution company with food storage warehouses in several cities."Recently, we signed a contract with the Fly-Away Pest Control Company to provide pest control services at our warehou 59
- TOEFL sample essay: A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. do you support or oppose the factory? explain your position. 73
- You have decided to give several hours of your time each month to improve the community where you live. What is one thing you will do to improve your community? Why? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice. 3
- In order to become well-rounded individuals, all college students should be required to take courses in which they read poetry, novels, mythology, and other types of imaginative literature.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agre 66
- The following appeared in a letter to the editor of Parson City's local newspaper. "In our region of Trillura, the majority of money spent on the schools that most students attend—the city-run public schools—comes from taxes that each city government 58
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: In the movie rental enterprise,there are many possiblity could cause this decling, as the customers would like to wath movie online, or there is another strong sompetetor in the market.
Error: sompetetor Suggestion: competitor
Error: decling Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: wath Suggestion: watch
Error: possiblity Suggestion: possibility
Sentence: So let's discuss hie measures.
Error: hie Suggestion: his
Sentence: Firstly, this closing hour may prevent the potential customer who are willing to go to the store after six because of the time after work possiblly.Hence maybe lots of people could go home and rent a DVD on the way meanwhile after a wholeday's working.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: possiblly Suggestion: possibly
Sentence: Secondly,even if this reducing time works , it mere does at a single store locates downtown where mayby full of te poor homeless after work.While whether this sucssess could replicate in the other nine stores is still in question.
Error: mayby Suggestion: maybe
Error: sucssess Suggestion: success
Error: te Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: More over, as a movie fan, who share lots of common with people around the wolrd like old movies, it would be a tragedy to reduce the overall DVDs relesased five years ago, which is not very far from now, let alone the Choplins' perhaps.So This is another bad choice if the author do not make an exhaustive survey to find out what kind of movies the people around the stores like.
Error: wolrd Suggestion: word
Error: relesased Suggestion: released
Sentence: In addition, lots of people are not a fan of certain kind of movies like the old , thus ,it would be a catastrophy for all of the consumers.
Error: catastrophy Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Given the owner tells us by the mearsure practiced in the downtown store, they received few complaints about this changing, while there are three possiblities.
Error: possiblities Suggestion: possibilities
Error: mearsure Suggestion: measure
Sentence: To be specific, even few complaints do not mean there is little complanits as there maybe a lot of consumers will not go to th movie rental stores anymore with this implement.
Error: complanits Suggestion: complaints
Error: th Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In conslusion, I fully comprehend this owner of movie rental stores.But his plans are not well supported by the evidence and facts which should be surveyed carefully.Every boss will worry about the declining profits.
Error: conslusion Suggestion: conclusion
---------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 19 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 485 350
No. of Characters: 2199 1500
No. of Different Words: 243 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.693 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.534 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.287 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.529 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.022 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.706 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.302 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.56 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 107, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , there
... profits. In the movie rental enterprise,there are many possiblity could cause this de...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 263, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...nother strong sompetetor in the market. Hence we can not find the reason of declining...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 308, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... we can not find the reason of declining ,the author should not take the measure h...
^^
Line 3, column 4, Rule ID: LETS_LET[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
...ring more troubles in the future. So lets discuss hie measures. The author sugges...
^^^^
Line 3, column 42, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'suggest reducing'.
Suggestion: suggest reducing
...o lets discuss hie measures. The author suggest to reduce all the ten stores opening time which w...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 333, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Hence
...ecause of the time after work possiblly.Hence maybe lots of people could go home and ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 333, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...ecause of the time after work possiblly.Hence maybe lots of people could go home and ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 445, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , even
...hile after a wholedays working. Secondly,even if this reducing time works , it mere d...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 478, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...econdly,even if this reducing time works , it mere does at a single store locates ...
^^
Line 3, column 577, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: While
...yby full of te poor homeless after work.While whether this sucssess could replicate i...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 577, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...yby full of te poor homeless after work.While whether this sucssess could replicate i...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 237, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: So
...rom now, let alone the Choplins perhaps.So This is another bad choice if the autho...
^^
Line 5, column 461, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...n of certain kind of movies like the old , thus ,it would be a catastrophy for all...
^^
Line 5, column 468, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...rtain kind of movies like the old , thus ,it would be a catastrophy for all of the...
^^
Line 5, column 500, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...d , thus ,it would be a catastrophy for all of the consumers. Finally, the feedbacks we...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 271, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Two
...th this which the owner is happy to see.Two, there is few consumer in the downtown ...
^^^
Line 7, column 285, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun consumer seems to be countable; consider using: 'few consumers'.
Suggestion: few consumers
...the owner is happy to see.Two, there is few consumer in the downtown thus few complaints. I ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 413, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Three
...to improve the profit in this situation.Three, which is high possible, there are sile...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 69, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: But
...ehend this owner of movie rental stores.But his plans are not well supported by the...
^^^
Line 9, column 167, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Every
...acts which should be surveyed carefully.Every boss will worry about the declining pro...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, firstly, hence, if, may, really, second, secondly, so, still, thus, well, while, in addition, kind of, in my opinion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 67.0 55.5748502994 121% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2268.0 2260.96107784 100% => OK
No of words: 476.0 441.139720559 108% => OK
Chars per words: 4.76470588235 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67091256922 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.611126745 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 248.0 204.123752495 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.521008403361 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 701.1 705.55239521 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 85.9686109933 57.8364921388 149% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.411764706 119.503703932 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.0 23.324526521 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.94117647059 5.70786347227 157% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 20.0 5.25449101796 381% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.171813061849 0.218282227539 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0569883876018 0.0743258471296 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0590815654163 0.0701772020484 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.110395807175 0.128457276422 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0610522589731 0.0628817314937 97% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 48.3550499002 107% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.62 12.5979740519 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.04 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 98.500998004 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.