The two pie charts below show changes in world population by region between 1900 and 2000. Write a report for a lecture describing the information in these charts.

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The two pie charts below show changes in world population by region between 1900 and 2000. Write a report for a lecture describing the information in these charts.

The charts show how world society in many areas shifts, during 100 years period, from 1900 to 2000. The two graphs introduce percentages of community come from Asia, Europe, North America, Africa and Latin America, which allocate amount of ratio, ranging from 3-to-60 percent.

Overall, it can be seen from the two charts that most of the population growth has occurred in developing countries, where people from Asia are the largest ones in 1900 and 2000 from the total of population, 1, 600 million-6 billion.

In between 1900 and 2000, Africa and Latin America were an extremely significant increase twice over, ranging from 4.5% to 10% and 3% to 8% world society. However, Europe (including Russia) with a decline in percentages of sizes was 25% to 14% world society. Fascinatingly there were Middle East and North Africa coming as a new category in 2000 with 6% population, while these two regions had no percentages of people in 1900.

So, what can be drawn from the charts about the total of population in the world? Ultimately, it can be seen that Asia’s percentage of world population has high-ranking officials if compared with all regions, although it was a slight decrease from 60-to-54 percent during a 100-year period.

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2013-05-08 eddysuaib 67 view
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Sentence: people from Asia were slightly lower than 1900
Suggestion: can you re-write this sentence?

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 10
No. of Words: 165 200
No. of Characters: 770 1000
No. of Different Words: 91 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.584 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.667 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.415 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 53 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 33 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 18 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 15 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.264 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.375 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.48 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.723 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.119 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4

As following your suggestion to mark up my writing, I have added some information and corrected some grammatical mechanics in order to match with the criterion above. Please kindly re-mark my writing.

I look forward to hearing from you, sir.

Thanks in advance,

Eddy.

We got more grammar errors:

The two graphs introduce percentages of community come from Asia, Europe, North America, Africa and Latin America
Description: two verbs in one sentence.

Africa and Latin America were an extremely significant increase ,
Africa and Latin America have an extremely significant increase ,

although it was a slight decrease
although it has a slight decrease

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 10
No. of Words: 206 200
No. of Characters: 989 1000
No. of Different Words: 117 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.788 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.801 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.553 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 72 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 49 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 30 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 21 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.027 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.48 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.728 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4