People live longer today ,and therefore they should work longer? to what extent do you agree or disagree??

Essay topics:

People live longer today ,and therefore they should work longer? to what extent do you agree or disagree??

Submitted by alifdores on Thu, 05/02/2019 - 18:05

Nowadays, Individuals are able to live longer, thus, they are supposed to work longer as well. In accordance with this argument, this essay will explain my perspective in the following paragraphs.

In regard to the statement above, I do appreciate to the opinion which believed that people have to work in longer times as they can live longer. Nevertheless, I tend to oppose and think that older people do not have to work for a longer time since it is not render a guarantee for the result of the work that they will produce. Regarding to this, we know that the ability, such as the energy of older people, of them usually may decrease as may they get older, and it will affect the outcome of their work as well.

In accordance to my point of view, there are two reasons of this statement. It, first and foremost, is going to render a negative impact if older people insist themselves for working in a longer time, it will make them easily to get sick since they have to spend their more energies for working. Furthermore, it is apparent that it, additionally, will influence the increasing number of unemployment, particularly for youngster worker, since the position, which is supposed to be replaced by new worker, is still placed by older worker.

By way of conclusion, it seems to me that it is better to older individuals for working in normal time in order to create more benefits for themselves and others. Thus, in order to make it happen, the authority of every nation has to create a law which focus on limiting the maximum age of every person for working.

Votes
Average: 6.7 (1 vote)
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 87, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[3]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
... thus, they are supposed to work longer as well. In accordance with this argument,...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, furthermore, if, may, nevertheless, regarding, so, still, thus, well, as to, such as, in regard to

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 7.85571142285 102% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 10.4138276553 38% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 7.30460921844 123% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 24.0651302605 145% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 46.0 41.998997996 110% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.3376753507 96% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1299.0 1615.20841683 80% => OK
No of words: 279.0 315.596192385 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.65591397849 5.12529762239 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.08696624509 4.20363070211 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62480144215 2.80592935109 94% => OK
Unique words: 141.0 176.041082164 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.505376344086 0.561755894193 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 415.8 506.74238477 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 5.43587174349 147% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.76152304609 168% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 16.0721442886 62% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.2975951904 133% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 51.1882799086 49.4020404114 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.9 106.682146367 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.9 20.7667163134 134% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.5 7.06120827912 149% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.67935871743 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.20791057117 0.244688304435 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.102785120842 0.084324248473 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.122567253223 0.0667982634062 183% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.137509025109 0.151304729494 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0977260734796 0.056905535591 172% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 13.0946893788 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 50.2224549098 105% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 11.3001002004 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.04 12.4159519038 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.82 8.58950901804 103% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 78.4519038076 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 9.78957915832 107% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.1190380762 126% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.7795591182 121% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.