Compared with the older people who have more exprince, I belive the younger people are more easily to be convinced or persuaded. Especially due to the rapid development of the media, the opinions of celebrities are more important to younger people than old ones. In that most younger people are more likely to adopt the new thoughts or events. As the example of the younger people, the famous people in enterntainment and athlete fields stand in a significant postion in the youngers' mind. I will address my views as follows.
To begin with, the younger people would like to copy the behaviors of the famous ones. Many Chinese students began to play basketball or soccer when they watched the games or cartoons related to these sports on TV. LIke the Kobe Braynt, the idol in my heart. I started to play basketball when I watched the games of the Lakers in NBA. I am a big fan of Kobe. His spirit has encouraged me for years. There was a documetary about him impressed me so much, because I got to know the reason why he could lead the Lakers to win the Champion.Because he excercised very hard when he was young, the famous question to the reporter who interviewed him is " Have you ever saw the lighrts of the Los Angeles in the 4 AM?" A superstar got up so early to paly basketball, his behavior and efforts are always encouraging. I really appriciate his spirit which gave me faith and strength.
In addtion, the entertainers also have lots of usefull as well as important ideas to the younger people. In that many famous entertainers were nobody before they got famed. There is a superstar in China called Huang Bo who I appreciated very much. His life is another story of struggling with life. He was a little singer in a Bar in Qingdao, a city in China. HE had to make a live by singing while it was far not enough. So he palyed lots of actors in films except for the hero. After he successed, once he was aksed by a young actor who want to act in movies, he told the young person to insist on the this career by the story that he had applied for audition for eighr years withour offer for acting.
Finally, as the older people who do not have sufficient engery and spirits than the younger ones, when the famous celebrities share the opinions to people, they would be not easy to accept the ideas from these spuerstars.
In all, the famous people have more influence on the younger people than old ones, moreover, the celebries should to know the resonsiblity they take as good examples for younger people.
- TOEFL T P O 33 - Integrated Writing Task 3
- The following is a recommendation from the personnel director to the president of Acme Publishing Company. "Many other companies have recently stated that having their employees take the Easy Read Speed-Reading Course has greatly improved productivity. On 84
- Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure 79
- Do you agree or disagreewith the following statement?Taking a lot of time to make an importantdecision is often considered as a badquality for a person. However, some peoplethink that it is a good quality for a person. 60
- Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoni 50
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 272, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[1]
Message: Use only 'younger' (without 'most') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: younger
...o younger people than old ones. In that most younger people are more likely to adopt the new...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 537, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Because
...uld lead the Lakers to win the Champion.Because he excercised very hard when he was you...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 821, Rule ID: PRP_RB_NO_VB[1]
Message: Are you missing a verb?
...r and efforts are always encouraging. I really appriciate his spirit which gave me faith and stre...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 601, Rule ID: DT_DT[2]
Message: Maybe you need to remove the second determiner so that only 'the' or 'this' is left.
Suggestion: the; this
..., he told the young person to insist on the this career by the story that he had applied...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 108, Rule ID: FAMOUS_CELEBRITY[1]
Message: Use simply 'celebrities'.
Suggestion: celebrities
...spirits than the younger ones, when the famous celebrities share the opinions to people, they woul...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, if, moreover, really, so, well, while, as to, except for, as well as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 43.0788530466 95% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 52.1666666667 121% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2079.0 1977.66487455 105% => OK
No of words: 458.0 407.700716846 112% => OK
Chars per words: 4.53930131004 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62611441266 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54071271607 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.510917030568 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 657.0 618.680645161 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 10.0 3.08781362007 324% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 85.9558729715 48.9658058833 176% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.3913043478 100.406767564 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.9130434783 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.26086956522 5.45110844103 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.237979971428 0.236089414692 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0676038419339 0.076458572812 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0807511271458 0.0737576698707 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.165901524106 0.150856017488 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0875254958187 0.0645574589148 136% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.9 11.7677419355 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.05 10.9000537634 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.85 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 86.8835125448 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.