The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Alta Manufacturing.
"During the past year, Alta Manufacturing had thirty percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts believe that a significant contributing factor in many accidents is fatigue caused by sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Alta, we recommend shortening each of our three work shifts by one hour. If we do this, our employees will get adequate amounts of sleep."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The vice-president of Alta Manufacturing gives the advice about the shortening the working shifts in this company by an hour, to increase the alertness of the workers and reduce the on-the-job incident rate which was thirty percent higher than the calamities occurred in Panoply Industries. This recommendation cannot be accepted as it stands since it relies on the series of skeptical premises which are questionable in one way or another. The following paragraphs will list the most conspicuous problems of the considered assumptions and the queries which cast doubt on the validity of the memo.
The first problem with the note is the comparison which is lacking the rearing information about the conditions of two compared companies. As long as, there is no clue about the similarities between two industries, the comparison will be a dead-ended action such as the comparison of apples and oranges. In this case, the questions which should be responded are; firstly, are the working load of these two factories identical? Secondly, do both industries possess the same level of safe working conditions for their employees? Finally, do the employed working forces at two factories own the same state of knowledge and expertise in working with the mechanical machine in the factories? All these questions explicitly illustrate for the comparison or contrast, there should be the same base and varied details until there will be a chance of making an accurate comparison and figuring out the differences. For instance, in this comparison, there is the possibility that the working load at Panoply Industries is half of the working load in Alta Manufacturing. In this case, the shorten an-hour shift at Panoply Industries will not fulfill the tediousness happens in Alta Manufacturing.
Another issue with the memo is the vague and short sentence which is stated on behalf of experts. Indeed, it is a very precise and ambiguous sentence which does no clarified the type of the occupation and impact factors of the fatigue and lack of sleep in the on-the-job incidents; consequently, a list of questions comes to mind. First of all, does this hypothesis include the entire types of occupations? Then, are two factors of fatigue and sleep deprivation the mere reason of on-the-job accidents? Finally, if they are not the sole reason, what is the impact ratio of other factors? Maybe, this experts’ sentence only is about the driving and hazardous occurred for drivers; or there are other factors such as the level of knowledge and expertise about the working with machines leading to the on-the-job accident, which do not own the high impact factor as the tiredness and sleep deprivation; however, it is not that much insignificant to be overlooked. In this case, a superficial sentence about the side-effect of lack of sleep and tediousness cannot a concrete reference to rely on.
Finally, the vice-president assumes that the shortening of the whole working shifts by an-hour will be effective for the prevention of the accident in the factory. This is a shaky assumption, even with the acceptance of the fatigue and sleeplessness as the major cause of the accident at this factory, there is no piece of evidence that this eliminated hour from shift will be spent for resting by the labors. This dubious perspective highlights this question that does the workers allocate this period for their rest and sleep or other types of activities? Since there is the probability that workers prefer to spend it for the family meeting or their individual chores. Therefore, the action according to this assumption will not lead to the well-rested working force.
To wrap it up, all the above-mentioned problems and queries lucidly depict that this memo is doubtful and requires further explanations.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 617 350
No. of Characters: 3113 1500
No. of Different Words: 267 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.984 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.045 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.858 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 220 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 184 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 122 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 92 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.708 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.393 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.542 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.28 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.488 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.067 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1074, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...ad in Alta Manufacturing. In this case, the shorten an-hour shift at Panoply Industries wil...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 631, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ybe, this experts' sentence only is about the driving and hazardous occurred...
^^
Line 3, column 734, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e are other factors such as the level of knowledge and expertise about the workin...
^^
Line 3, column 1016, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[14]
Message: Did you mean 'side effect' (=adverse effect, unintended consequence)? Open compounds are not hyphenated.
Suggestion: side effect
... case, a superficial sentence about the side-effect of lack of sleep and tediousness cannot...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 137, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tful and requires further explanations.
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, finally, first, firstly, however, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, well, for instance, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 24.0 11.1786427146 215% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 86.0 55.5748502994 155% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3183.0 2260.96107784 141% => OK
No of words: 617.0 441.139720559 140% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.15883306321 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.98392262146 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95713540987 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 275.0 204.123752495 135% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.445705024311 0.468620217663 95% => OK
syllable_count: 990.0 705.55239521 140% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 69.6233916631 57.8364921388 120% => OK
Chars per sentence: 132.625 119.503703932 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.7083333333 23.324526521 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.95833333333 5.70786347227 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.88822355289 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.153723838412 0.218282227539 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0471772827049 0.0743258471296 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.068050605036 0.0701772020484 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0924084407168 0.128457276422 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0739339677042 0.0628817314937 118% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.7 14.3799401198 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.97 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 160.0 98.500998004 162% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.