An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
People in Tagus suffer from deficiency of vitamin A which is contained sufficiently in a new breed of millet. Even though the engineered breed millet requires more cost to be paid from farmers who raise it, the author argues that the government should try anything they can do to promote the type of millet. However, the author assumed that people in Tagus would steadily consume the new type of millet without evaluating other alternative ways to supply vitamin A.
Vitamin A is not only consumed from millet. There are several options to take enough vitamin through different sources. Many of vegetables and fruits have enough amount of vitamin A. People can eat more vegetables and fruits that are especially known for vitamin A, such as carrots and broccolis. However, the author did not evaluate whether or not millet is the only source to satisfy the recommended amount of vitamin that people in Tagus should take. Even though the environment is harsh to raise vegetables and fruits enough with vitamin A, it is possible that people can get out of the deficiency of vitamin A by taking vitamin A supplement. The best of taking vitamin A is through foods which help organs to absorb it, but it is still efficient to take the supplement in order to have the same effect. Thus, the author should seek if there is any other alternatives for vitamin A.
There are many issues around genetically modified food products and how they affect human bodies and environment. However, the author has not stated whether the new type of millet has been tested for any safety issues. Recently, many of researchers and organizations have been raising the issues that are carried from food products that are genetically altered. Even though alteration of genetics is costly better and available to grow easily, it could result in some negative affect on human bodies since it is not naturally raised and is artificially developed. Especially, people in Tagus would consume the millet as their primal source for their meal because the author state people have eaten millet regularly. Therefore, the new type of millet would need to be tested thoroughly whether there are any potential side effects of consuming millet on regular basis.
Considered with side effect of genetic alteration on the environment, another huge issues with GMO is the negative effects on the environment. By artificially modifying genetics just for human benefits, it can produce positive effects, such as supplying more food sufficient in vitamin A for better health in people in Tagus, in a short term. The researchers worried that the food chain would be disturbed by heavy uses of genetic technologies for food productions. Therefore, people would be beneficent from the genetic technology in a short term. It can also harm the environment and ultimately cause more cost to recover the environment. Therefore, the author should consider and evaluate if using that engineered breed of millet would be safe for the environment in a long run.
In the statement, it has been said that millet in Tagus is a stable food that people regularly consume. However, people never know that they would continue to eat millet if they realized that they need to take more vitamin A. Even though the new breed of millet contains enough amount of vitamin A, people might want to eat and adopt other foods that are known for vitamin A as their primal meal. Also, the price would be increased since the new breed is costly and the farmers who raise it need to pay for that breed. Especially, price is one of the most relevant factors that decide patterns of consumption from people. People might not want to buy millet due to expensive price and then transfer to another cheaper food product that also have enough vitamin A.
In conclusion, the author should go over any alteranative sources that can satisfy the issue of defincient vitamin A in Tangus instead of a new type of millet. Also, before the government put it into the market, they need to test thoroughly for safety. Lastly, it is important to survey the likelihood that people in Tagus would buy the new breed when it comes with higher price.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
this essay is out of topic. This is not an issue essay.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 30 15
No. of Words: 704 350
No. of Characters: 3389 1500
No. of Different Words: 259 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.151 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.814 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.504 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 259 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 156 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 94 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 70 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.467 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.954 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.567 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.525 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 466, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...er alternative ways to supply vitamin A. Vitamin A is not only consumed from mill...
^^^
Line 2, column 335, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...s. However, the author did not evaluate whether or not millet is the only source to satisfy th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 887, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...is any other alternatives for vitamin A. There are many issues around genetically...
^^^
Line 3, column 478, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
...asily, it could result in some negative affect on human bodies since it is not naturally ...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, lastly, so, still, then, therefore, thus, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.6327345309 163% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 27.0 12.9520958084 208% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 24.0 13.6137724551 176% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 28.8173652695 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 90.0 55.5748502994 162% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3457.0 2260.96107784 153% => OK
No of words: 704.0 441.139720559 160% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.91051136364 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.1510191538 4.56307096286 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5702013222 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 269.0 204.123752495 132% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.382102272727 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1107.9 705.55239521 157% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 32.0 19.7664670659 162% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.8629365569 57.8364921388 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.03125 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.75 5.70786347227 48% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 22.0 8.20758483034 268% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.368782152479 0.218282227539 169% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.114979411129 0.0743258471296 155% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0785041735432 0.0701772020484 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.235392929076 0.128457276422 183% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0786345789716 0.0628817314937 125% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.69 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 132.0 98.500998004 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.