Bayside schools are doing a poor job because the test scores, graduation and college admission rates are low.
Let start from the very beginning, realize the premises and evaluate whether they are accurate or not.
The article says that Bayside schools are doing a poor job because the test scores, graduation and college admission rates are low. The writer acknowledges that these are not the unique indicators of the status of an educational system as he said, “number of other indicators”. Therefore, we can consider another indicators as well, and maybe the result of the evaluation would alter drastically if we did so. For example, what percent of students in the Bayside regions were successful in acquiring jobs, are they successful in their jobs from both aspects of financial facets such as income and of fulfilling the accumulating needs of the society. It is probable that if we consider criteria other than what the author used to support his argument, then the result would show that the Bayside school system even is doing a great job.
Let assume that the best indicators of the status of a school system are exactly those factors which have been mentioned by the author such as test scores, graduation and college admission rates. And all of them show a negative picture of the status. There is no necessary relationship between poor performance of students at exams and the novelty of facilities of the schools. That’s a sophistry, I think. Although I acknowledge that to rehabilitate schools and to renew and replace the old facilities can have a positive effect on the performance of students, but good facility is not a vital prerequisite to enhance students’ function. In other words, students may even do not perform better in regions they have modern, up-to-date facilities. Many reach regions suffer from similar issues with their students, though they spend a lot for their schools and build sumptuous buildings and buy brand new equipments for them. An enhanced academic performance is mainly a result of students motivations and thoughts about academic success. Do they really pay attention to lessons or not, and issues such as that. Therefore, by just investing more money to education it would not be the outcome to have better students’ scores at tests.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 361 350
No. of Characters: 1776 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.359 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.92 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.661 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 101 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.562 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.327 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.307 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.441 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.119 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...uate whether they are accurate or not. The article says that Bayside schools ar...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hool system even is doing a great job. Let assume that the best indicators of t...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, may, really, so, then, therefore, well, for example, i think, such as, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1841.0 2260.96107784 81% => OK
No of words: 361.0 441.139720559 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.09972299169 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35889894354 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.87850156988 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.556786703601 0.468620217663 119% => OK
syllable_count: 576.0 705.55239521 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.4259033451 57.8364921388 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.0625 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5625 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.875 5.70786347227 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 5.15768463074 58% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.26702468485 0.218282227539 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0916209584871 0.0743258471296 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.210449569048 0.0701772020484 300% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.153451171791 0.128457276422 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.139965731483 0.0628817314937 223% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.75 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 98.500998004 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Minimum four paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.