In order to save a considerable amount of money, Rockingham's century-old town hall should be torn down and replaced by the larger and more energy-efficient building that some citizens have proposed. The old town hall is too small to comfortably accommodate the number of people who are employed by the town. In addition, it is very costly to heat the old hall in winter and cool it in summer. The new, larger building would be more energy efficient, costing less per square foot to heat and cool than the old hall. Furthermore, it would be possible to rent out some of the space in the new building, thereby generating income for the town of Rockingham.
The author of this argument propose to replace Rockingham's century-old town hall by the larger building which will make it more energy-efficient and will allow them to save a considerable amount of money. However, author has naively come to a conclusion without considering the factors which will be involved in building a new town hall. Since individual judgement is subjective, however, i cannot completely concur with the author's claim.
Considering, from where money will come which is required in building a town hall. To break an old town hall and build a new over it will surely require money but the question is from where it will come? It might be possible, the government or community which is looking over these issues have to divert there funds from more important project currently going on in Rockingham and that can turn out to be a waste of investment. Moreover, the time required to build all over again will also be an essential point to confer. As the construction will go on there will be no option but to consider other town hall to complete the event which could have been done easily in old town hall.
Moving on to the point, new constructed building will be more energy-efficient. A large building, have more volume and can accommodate more people will surely require more air-conditioners in summer and heaters in winter. Hence, the energy consumption of the newly build town hall will be much more than the current town hall. So, there is clear dichotomy in the facts provided by the author and author needs to present more evidence in order to make argument more compelling and conclusive.
I furthermore can't completely agree with the claim, some of the space in the building can be used as a rent-able property and will be an income generating asset for the town. But considering the fact that, are the people in requirement of taking the space on rent? And if they are, giving on rent will be enough for compensating the investment done in building in first place? For example, if we build a house for $100 and rent it for $5 per month then first we have cover the initial investment done by us i.e. $100. For that it will require continue rent for 20 months and then I will be in a position to save money.
Hence, the author has to collect more information about the old building. The author must search for some solid evidence. He should do a complete and detailed study of the claims he has presented and emphasize on other factors that are affecting it in order to make his claim more cogent and logically correct.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 448 350
No. of Characters: 2064 1500
No. of Different Words: 208 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.601 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.607 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.639 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 122 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.44 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.324 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.553 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 390, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...idual judgement is subjective, however, i cannot completely concur with the autho...
^
Line 7, column 15, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...lling and conclusive. I furthermore cant completely agree with the claim, some o...
^^^^
Line 7, column 53, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...e cant completely agree with the claim, some of the space in the building can be used as a ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 433, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... we build a house for 00 and rent it for per month then first we have cover the i...
^^
Line 7, column 584, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ue rent for 20 months and then I will be in a position to save money. Hence, t...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, look, moreover, so, then, as to, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 24.0 12.9520958084 185% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 11.1786427146 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2108.0 2260.96107784 93% => OK
No of words: 447.0 441.139720559 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.7158836689 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.59808378696 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69029775404 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 213.0 204.123752495 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.476510067114 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 660.6 705.55239521 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.9069439192 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.4 119.503703932 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.35 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.75 5.70786347227 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.319519936311 0.218282227539 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.11194151806 0.0743258471296 151% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.099943683987 0.0701772020484 142% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.191117489347 0.128457276422 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0858359120423 0.0628817314937 137% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.39 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.73 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.