An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
Here the author concludes that a new type of millet needs to be promoted by the government of Tagus in order to curb vitamin A deficiency among its people. While this could be a potential solution to the problem at hand, but the predicted outcome however could be debatable.
To begin with, the author mentions that the new breed of millet will cost more. This could have a deleterious effect as many people may opt to remove millet's from their diet and look for cheaper substitutes. Even if the farmers are paid subsidies to grow this new breed of millet, it cannot be ascertained conclusively that the market price of this millet will be the same as existing millet breeds.
secondly, the author assumes that the new breed of millet will be readily adopted by the people of Tagus, since millet's are their staple food. This assumption is flawed as it is not conclusive that the people of Tagus have only one staple food, It could very well be possible that they are accustomed to having multiple staple foods in their diet, and may choose to stop eating this new breed of millet if it were to become too expensive for them.
Finally, the author concludes that the only way to combat vitamin A deficiency is by aggressively promoting this new breed of millet. The idea that vitamin A deficiency can only be reduced by the consumption of an unnaturally designed form of millet is questionable. There needs to be proper studies conducted and the results analyzed before we can judge the effectiveness of this newly designed crop. There could also be many other foods which could be both, affordable to the people of Tagus, as well as be rich in vitamin A content. But to conclude that only the consumption of the new breed of millet will reduce the vitamin A deficiency is flawed.
As mentioned above there are several questions such as the affordability of the millet, and the viability of the proposed approached that needs to be answered before it can be concluded as to how Vitamin A deficiency can be curbed.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 355 350
No. of Characters: 1631 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.341 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.594 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.553 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 110 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 70 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.308 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.579 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.769 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.428 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.664 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.154 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Secondly
... the same as existing millet breeds. secondly, the author assumes that the new breed ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 496, Rule ID: BOTH_AS_WELL_AS[1]
Message: Probable usage error. Use 'and' after 'both'.
Suggestion: and
...oth, affordable to the people of Tagus, as well as be rich in vitamin A content. But to co...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, however, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, well, while, as to, such as, as well as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 55.5748502994 86% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 16.3942115768 30% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1671.0 2260.96107784 74% => OK
No of words: 355.0 441.139720559 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.70704225352 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34067318298 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5936396958 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 163.0 204.123752495 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.459154929577 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 536.4 705.55239521 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.0214455978 57.8364921388 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.538461538 119.503703932 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.3076923077 23.324526521 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.23076923077 5.70786347227 162% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 6.88822355289 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.453403997123 0.218282227539 208% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.196950033305 0.0743258471296 265% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0849426487334 0.0701772020484 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.267154456804 0.128457276422 208% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0735521765143 0.0628817314937 117% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 14.3799401198 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 48.3550499002 109% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 12.197005988 103% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.33 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.13 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 98.500998004 72% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.