"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, our proposed club, the C Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's jazz festival last summer, several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. It is clear that the C Note cannot help but make money."
In this argument, the author claims that the new jazz club, C Note will do great business in Monroe, as there is no jazz club within an area of 65 miles and people of Monroe are fond of jazz music. He has cited a lot of evidence in his support. To support his point of view, the arguer has pointed out that the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is "Jazz Nightly". He has also talked about a nationwide survey to show that a typical jazz fan spends nearly $1000 per year on jazz entertainment. The reasons given by the author seem sound and reasonable at first glance, however, there are several logical flaws in the argument that undermine the arguer's conclusion.
Firstly, the author assumes that because the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away, his proposed club, the C Note, would have the local market all to itself. However, he has not thought about the reason why there is not any other jazz club in that area. There are chances that someone might have opened a jazz club before, but closed because it had few customers and he could not earn money. He also failed to establish the relationship between the nearest jazz club being 65 miles away and C Note dominating the local market. The club 65 miles away might be having much better service and a low-ticket price. Moreover, that club might have a high reputation and fixed customers, who probably will drive at least 65 miles to enjoy the specific service he or she likes most. Hence, this evidence does not prove that C Note will necessarily dominate the local market.
Secondly, the author made a hasty generalization. He simply equated the fact that because over 100000 people attended Monroe's jazz festival and the high-rated radio program is "Jazz Nightly", C Note will automatically make lots of money. The author has nowhere mentioned the proportion of the native people who attended Monroe's jazz festival last summer. There is a possibility that there were more tourists who attended the festival. There are chances that the people's salary in Monroe is low, thus, people probably do not have money to spend in the jazz club. Even if they like jazz music, they prefer listening to the radio rather than going to a jazz club. Hence, these reasons do not guarantee the success of C Note in Monroe.
The reason that many well known jazz musicians live in Monroe also does not hold any ground. It does not establish any relationship with the success of C Note. They could be living in Monroe because of its good living conditions.
Finally, the author supported his argument with a nationwide study that indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per years on jazz entertainment. However, if a jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment it does not mean that he will spend money on going to a jazz club. He may buys jazz CD, DVD, and to see live jazz play.
Hence, the argument lacks thorough analysis and reliable statistic. The author should have investigated the actual number of people going to the jazz club. It would have strengthened his argument.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-07-31 | Seema Modak | 46 | view |
| 2019-07-14 | himanshugarg | 83 | view |
| 2019-07-14 | himanshugarg | 83 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 537 350
No. of Characters: 2457 1500
No. of Different Words: 233 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.814 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.575 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.362 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 153 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.179 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.058 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.607 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.323 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.531 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.16 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 657, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'arguers'' or 'arguer's'?
Suggestion: arguers'; arguer's
...laws in the argument that undermine the arguers conclusion. Firstly, the author as...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 473, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'peoples'' or 'people's'?
Suggestion: peoples'; people's
...he festival. There are chances that the peoples salary in Monroe is low, thus, people p...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 124, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...hat the typical jazz fan spends close to ,000 per years on jazz entertainment. How...
^^
Line 13, column 201, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
.... However, if a jazz fan spends close to ,000 per year on jazz entertainment it do...
^^
Line 13, column 280, Rule ID: ON_GOING[1]
Message: Did you mean 'ongoing'?
Suggestion: ongoing
... does not mean that he will spend money on going to a jazz club. He may buys jazz CD, DV...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, hence, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, thus, well, at least
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 28.8173652695 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2558.0 2260.96107784 113% => OK
No of words: 537.0 441.139720559 122% => OK
Chars per words: 4.7635009311 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.81386128306 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51664799398 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 243.0 204.123752495 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.45251396648 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 773.1 705.55239521 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 4.96107784431 282% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.6378140009 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.3571428571 119.503703932 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1785714286 23.324526521 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.25 5.70786347227 74% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 8.20758483034 231% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.455693491837 0.218282227539 209% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.133716060284 0.0743258471296 180% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.122787140327 0.0701772020484 175% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.239648156438 0.128457276422 187% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.111543469976 0.0628817314937 177% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 48.3550499002 143% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 12.197005988 68% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.33 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.43 8.32208582834 89% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 98.500998004 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.