There is now evidence that the relaxed pace of life in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities. Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Masonton. Furthermore, Leeville has only one physician for its one thousand residents, but in Masonton the proportion of physicians to residents is five times as high. Finally, the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher than that of Masonton residents. These findings suggest that people seeking longer and healthier lives should consider moving to small communities.
In this argument, the author claims that people should live in small towns to promotes better health and greater longevity rather than living in large town. To support her argument, she cites a report that shows that surveys the people of two companies, which one is in small town, Leesville and another is large town Manton. The reports shows that employees in Leesville is absent for the company less than employees of Manton do and fewer physicians need in the Leesville than Manton per a person. Also it indicated that the average age of the employees of Leesville is higher than employees of Manton. Careful scrutiny reveals that this argument has several logical problems.
To begin with, based on the fact the number of physicians per person in Leesville is lower than in Manton, the author presumes that the right indicator of health state and reversely think tha cause and effect. However it could not be true. Common sense tells us that smaller the size of the town is, smaller the size of population is. If she cannot explain why the health state of a population can be rated by the number of physicians in the region, this argument is not cogent
Secondly, based on the fact that the average age of the people of small town is higher than the people of large town, she wrongly assumes that the higher average age of the people is because of living in undeveloped region. However, it could not be true. For example, the company in Leesville could prefer to hire older people than younger people, or the company could not have hired new people for long time. If this is true we cannot be convinced by this argument.
Finally, even if we admit the fact that the average age of the company in Leesville is higher than of people in Manton is because of living in small town, there is another problem. Based on the fact that the number of being absent for people of Leesville is lower than manton, she wrongly assumes that the number of absence for work place can be an indicator of health state. However, it could not a right indicator. For example, if the people of Leesville are forced not to be absent by the company's atmosphere and they were given higher disadvantage for promotion than Manton, of course, they do not want to go to hospital. Until the author rule out this problem, this argument is groundless.
To summarize, this argument is dubious as it stands. To make this argument more persuasive, the author have to prove living in small region can affect people's health and longevity and have to explain the rightness of rating people's health by the number of physicians in the area. To evaluate better, we have to know that the number of absence of the people in a company can show people's health
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| 2023-08-12 | okazaki11 | 73 | view |
| 2023-06-14 | weonalaz | 78 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 482 350
No. of Characters: 2192 1500
No. of Different Words: 171 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.686 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.548 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.273 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 167 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.952 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.83 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.524 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.348 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.519 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.174 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 339, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[1]
Message: You should probably use 'show'.
Suggestion: show
...other is large town Manton. The reports shows that employees in Leesville is absent f...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 501, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...the Leesville than Manton per a person. Also it indicated that the average age of th...
^^^^
Line 3, column 212, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
... reversely think tha cause and effect. However it could not be true. Common sense tell...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 318, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he size of the town is, smaller the size of population is. If she cannot explain ...
^^
Line 5, column 411, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ot have hired new people for long time. If this is true we cannot be convinced by ...
^^
Line 9, column 281, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...y the number of physicians in the area. To evaluate better, we have to know that t...
^^
Line 9, column 394, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ple in a company can show peoples health
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, however, if, second, secondly, so, for example, of course, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 55.5748502994 124% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2251.0 2260.96107784 100% => OK
No of words: 482.0 441.139720559 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.67012448133 5.12650576532 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68556276237 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.34322759296 2.78398813304 84% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.377593360996 0.468620217663 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 700.2 705.55239521 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 83.2095397175 57.8364921388 144% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.55 119.503703932 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.1 23.324526521 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.35 5.70786347227 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.138070471114 0.218282227539 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0484813722674 0.0743258471296 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0627881550035 0.0701772020484 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0907609221313 0.128457276422 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0507455666398 0.0628817314937 81% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 48.3550499002 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.1 12.5979740519 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.48 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 98.500998004 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.