Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia. Using an observation-centered approach to studying Tertian culture, he concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents. Recently another anthropologist, Dr. Karp, visited the group of islands that includes Tertia and used the interview-centered method to study child-rearing practices. In the interviews that Dr. Karp conducted with children living in this group of islands, the children spent much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village. Dr. Karp decided that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture must be invalid. Some anthropologists recommend that to obtain accurate information on Tertian child-rearing practices, future research on the subject should be conducted via the interview-centered method.
The argument in which the observation-centered approach is more valid than the interview-centered method in the anthropology seems tenable at first glance. The author makes a valid argument, one that it would be correct, if its premises were true. While his conclusion relies on the assumptions for which there is no strict and obvious evidence and it uses the terms that lack definitions.
First, the author cites that research done by Dr. Field is invalid and it prefers the method of the Dr. Krap on the culture and child-rearing practice by the groups of children from various islands. In fact it tries to reach a total result about the Terian village culture by one study done on a group of the island. It is quite possible that it doesn't be true about the Terian Island and in the interview, children of the other islands were a lot rather than Terian. The author doesn't make clear evidence on the interview. How and in what situation is it done? What are the differences and similarities between the methods done by two anthropologists? To answer these issues, the author should explain more about two methods.
Second the argument in full of the terms which doesn't have overt definitions and there are still tremendous doubts on the correct meanings of the terms. Talking on the biological parents, child-rearing practices, interview-centered method are those terms that aren't illustrated completely. The author could easily construe all the skeptic points by assembling the searching done in these cases and social evidences of the children and so on.
Finally, the argument doesn't make a strong correlation between two methods clearly, so maybe they are used in different situation and maybe in the time of the Dr. Field it was the best one. As we know after twenty years, the technology of the research has been changed and it might not be comparable two methods because of the having no common and same positions.
As a result, the author's conclusion appears to rely on the assumptions which are opaque and unsupported. He could address these issues by depicting the culture of the Island, giving more information on the society of the people, parents, and children on the islands in the time of the Dr. Field and Dr. karp.
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
Read sample essays and think why.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 384 350
No. of Characters: 1823 1500
No. of Different Words: 181 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.427 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.747 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.831 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 123 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.588 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.852 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.339 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.561 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.098 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5