Some people think children can learn effectively by watching TV and they should be encouraged to watch TV at both home and school. To what extend do you agree and disagree?
Watching TV has become a commonplace for the general public. Therefore, it is argued that children can improve their studies through viewing TV programe.From my point of view, i would not go along with statment, although the advantage of this activity is evident
Advocates in favour of this statement argue that children can broaden their horizons by being exposed to TV . Compared to school education, which the course contents sometimes are out-of-date, TV programe allows students to acquire the latest information that associated with all kinds of social events.For instance, the retirment age for australian has changed from 60 years old to 65 years old. However, one worrying issue concerns people is that, occasionally, a number of media contexts may be improper to young viewers, leading them to develop indisiciplined behaviours. For example, children who exposed to action movies frequently may resort to violence in the event of disputs. This is because they lack adequate consciousness to learn and distinguish right from wrong.
Another drawback relating to this activity is that children may fall into sedentary lifestyle. For example,primary school students can spend several hours on TV drama and movies, making them less likely to take part in phsyical activites.This can be regard as one reason of obesity.The result is that, overweight can cause adverse impact on children in terms of their well-being, undermining their confidence and self-image.
To summerise, parents and schools should impose restriction on children's TV viewing rathan than encouraging this habits.This can be justified by the fact that Televison viewing can cause host of issues to children, such as inactivity, sedentary lifestyle and indisiplined behaviours.
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to acquire the latest information that associated with
to acquire the latest information associated with
one worrying issue concerns people is that
one worrying issue which concerns people is that
Sentence: To summerise, parents and schools should impose restriction on children's TV viewing rathan than encouraging this habits.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and habits
Sentence: Therefore, it is argued that children can improve their studies through viewing TV programe.From my point of view, i would not go along with statment, although the advantage of this activity is evident
Error: statment Suggestion: statement
Sentence: Compared to school education, which the course contents sometimes are out-of-date, TV programe allows students to acquire the latest information that associated with all kinds of social events.For instance, the retirment age for australian has changed from 60 years old to 65 years old.
Error: retirment Suggestion: retirement
Error: programe Suggestion: program
Sentence: However, one worrying issue concerns people is that, occasionally, a number of media contexts may be improper to young viewers, leading them to develop indisiciplined behaviours.
Error: indisiciplined Suggestion: individualized
Sentence: For example, children who exposed to action movies frequently may resort to violence in the event of disputs.
Error: disputs Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: For example,primary school students can spend several hours on TV drama and movies, making them less likely to take part in phsyical activites.This can be regard as one reason of obesity.The result is that, overweight can cause adverse impact on children in terms of their well-being, undermining their confidence and self-image.
Error: activites Suggestion: activities
Error: phsyical Suggestion: physical
Sentence: To summerise, parents and schools should impose restriction on children's TV viewing rathan than encouraging this habits.This can be justified by the fact that Televison viewing can cause host of issues to children, such as inactivity, sedentary lifestyle and indisiplined behaviours.
Error: rathan Suggestion: rather
Error: summerise Suggestion: summarize
Error: indisiplined Suggestion: ?
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Words: 275 350
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 275 350
No. of Characters: 1449 1500
No. of Different Words: 176 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.072 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.269 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.761 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 121 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.541 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.372 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.602 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.101 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5