The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:
Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
In the context, the parents of Kensington Academy concludes that the new cafeteria private company Swift Nutrition should be replaced with a new one as this affect on students to telling health consequences. Imposing in this prosaic way , the author fails to answer several cardinal question form which the argument can be exempted. To justify his conclusion the author cites that her child with other friends complaining about the lunch options & many students are bringing their own food. However, careful scrutiny view of this evidence reveals that there are an abundance of loopholes laying among the evidence which made the argument unwarranted. Therefore, the argument can be considered unpersuasive & need more trenchant analysis.
In his statement the author just provide evidence of his child & his percentage. Though it seems meretricious, it can not be accepted evidence as we do not know how many friends were there & what is there percentage in respect with the total child of the school. I might be happened that except his child & friends, other students are feel good about this healthy food. It might be happened that the other parents of the school child force their students to eat that healthy food of Swift Nutrition. Without knowing this implying the parents idea can be precarious.
Another fact the parent mention that students are bringing there own food for lunch. However, the parent did not mention it that how he knew that or what amount of students are bringing there own food. Besides this, he also did not mention the students who bringing there own food are new to bring there own food or they did that before Swift Nutrition come. If they did that before the new company come in then this evidence is fruitless as it is there tradition to bring home made food. Additionally, the author insist to replace the company which ambiguous because they can be instructed to make more enjoyable less healthy food as the students wanted to eat. So with clarifying this issue the decision of the parents can not be considered as a valuable one.
On the other hand, the argument of the parent can be supplemental if some survey has been conduct which result show that maximum student do not like the food. Beside that, if it have been proven that the chef of the new vendor can not produce tasty food as the students demand , then the company can be fired as the parents wanted. Hence, on of this reasons should have to prove to implicate the parents idea.
In summary, the argument is unpersuasive as it stands with such porosity. To make it more reinforced , it is needed to provide some statistical data which help to judge the argument,perhaps by conducting a reliable survey among the school students to know
whether they like this vendor's food or not.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-12-06 | chapagain08 | 50 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 473 350
No. of Characters: 2255 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.664 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.767 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.411 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 157 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 124 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.982 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.455 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.325 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.565 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.156 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 158, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
...ould be replaced with a new one as this affect on students to telling health consequences...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 237, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...nsequences. Imposing in this prosaic way , the author fails to answer several card...
^^
Line 5, column 335, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... his child & friends, other students are feel good about this healthy food. It mi...
^^
Line 5, column 536, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'parents'' or 'parent's'?
Suggestion: parents'; parent's
...tion. Without knowing this implying the parents idea can be precarious. Another fa...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 60, Rule ID: THERE_OWN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'their own'?
Suggestion: their own
...rent mention that students are bringing there own food for lunch. However, the parent did...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 187, Rule ID: THERE_OWN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'their own'?
Suggestion: their own
...or what amount of students are bringing there own food. Besides this, he also did not men...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 267, Rule ID: THERE_OWN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'their own'?
Suggestion: their own
...d not mention the students who bringing there own food are new to bring there own food or...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 299, Rule ID: THERE_OWN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'their own'?
Suggestion: their own
...ringing there own food are new to bring there own food or they did that before Swift Nutr...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 360, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...y did that before Swift Nutrition come. If they did that before the new company co...
^^
Line 13, column 53, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... hand, the argument of the parent can be supplemental if some survey has been con...
^^
Line 13, column 180, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'has'?
Suggestion: has
...o not like the food. Beside that, if it have been proven that the chef of the new ve...
^^^^
Line 13, column 278, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...roduce tasty food as the students demand , then the company can be fired as the pa...
^^
Line 13, column 347, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...red as the parents wanted. Hence, on of this reasons should have to prove to implica...
^^^^
Line 13, column 398, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'parents'' or 'parent's'?
Suggestion: parents'; parent's
...s should have to prove to implicate the parents idea. In summary, the argument is ...
^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 101, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...uch porosity. To make it more reinforced , it is needed to provide some statistica...
^^
Line 17, column 182, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , perhaps
...al data which help to judge the argument,perhaps by conducting a reliable survey among t...
^^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 256, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...survey among the school students to know whether they like this vendors food or n...
^^^^^^
Line 19, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Whether
... among the school students to know whether they like this vendors food or not.
^^^^^^^
Line 19, column 24, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'vendors'' or 'vendor's'?
Suggestion: vendors'; vendor's
...nts to know whether they like this vendors food or not.
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, hence, however, if, so, then, therefore, in summary, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 28.8173652695 170% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2323.0 2260.96107784 103% => OK
No of words: 472.0 441.139720559 107% => OK
Chars per words: 4.92161016949 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6610686524 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54847448922 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.447033898305 0.468620217663 95% => OK
syllable_count: 702.9 705.55239521 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.22255489022 237% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.6713091637 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.619047619 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4761904762 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.04761904762 5.70786347227 71% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 19.0 5.25449101796 362% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.148516960915 0.218282227539 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0531696743626 0.0743258471296 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0471584162528 0.0701772020484 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0836808848175 0.128457276422 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0208296853987 0.0628817314937 33% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 14.3799401198 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.55 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.81 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 98.500998004 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.