Throughout the country last year, as more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth-league sports, over 40,000 of these young players suffered injuries. When interviewed for a recent study, youth-league soccer players in several major cities also reported psychological pressure exerted by coaches and parents to win games. Furthermore, education experts say that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities. Since the disadvantages outweigh any advantages, we in Parkville should discontinue organized athletic competition for children under nine.
The author’s argument that young league sports should be completely discontinued since it has more disadvantages than advantages is flawed and full of assumptions. In the argument, the author draws a conclusion from insufficient data obtained from a limited sample to make a sweeping generalization about an entire population. Furthermore, the author makes the mistake of pointing out a specific number of injuries without any base to justify ending young league sports.
To begin with, the author states that as per a recent study, youth league soccer players face psychological pressure from coaches and parents to do well. But, is this true for youths from all strata of society? Maybe mostly youngsters from financially weak families or who come from sporting background faced this issue and not others. In that case, the result of the study can’t be used to come to the author’s conclusion.
Secondly, the author claims over 40,000 young players were injured. But, is that a huge amount or a normal amount of injuries? In fact, were the injuries even gained during practice or maybe during off hours? The author fails to mentions out of how many players this number is and assumes that this is a sufficient number to reach his conclusion.
Finally, the author states that since as per experts, the long practice sessions take away time from academics, hence it’s bad for the young players. How did he reach the assumption that academics is more important in sports? If someone is preparing for a career in sports, shouldn’t they spend more time in practice only? Again, this assumption is baseless and can't be used to reach a conclusion.
In conclusion, the author assumes that due to some injuries and psychological stress which may or may not be related to sports and may apply to a particular section of society only, the young sports league should be stopped. But, his arguments are full of loopholes and need to be strengthened with facts before coming to a conclusion. Otherwise, it would just lead a swift and sad ending to aspiring and bright young careers.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 349 350
No. of Characters: 1685 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.322 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.828 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.611 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 129 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 78 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.389 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.072 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.556 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.072 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 230, Rule ID: TO_NON_BASE[1]
Message: The verb after "to" should be in the base form: 'mention'.
Suggestion: mention
...e during off hours? The author fails to mentions out of how many players this number is ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 373, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
... Again, this assumption is baseless and cant be used to reach a conclusion. In ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, furthermore, hence, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, well, in conclusion, in fact, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1765.0 2260.96107784 78% => OK
No of words: 348.0 441.139720559 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.07183908046 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31911543099 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81924524372 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.545977011494 0.468620217663 117% => OK
syllable_count: 527.4 705.55239521 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.6300291975 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.0555555556 119.503703932 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.3333333333 23.324526521 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.33333333333 5.70786347227 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.159078858449 0.218282227539 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0523625573153 0.0743258471296 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0599648603306 0.0701772020484 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0865498104374 0.128457276422 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0265518450711 0.0628817314937 42% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.3799401198 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.21 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 98.500998004 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.