The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The director of student housing is recommending building a new number of dorms in Buckingham College. He is basing his recommendation on the assumption that students’ enrollments will increase over the next 50 years. Moreover, the increasing raise in the appartments’ rents will engender more students to look for dorms. The editor’s conclusion relies on assumptions on which there is no clear evidence and therefore the argument is flawed.
First, the director is assuming that the trend of growing enrollment will continue over the next 50 years. However, the director never cited evidence to support his position. Perhaps, the growing trend will stop in the upcoming years. Maybe, if the director has shows statistical evidence of how this trend is predicted to continue, then it will be more convincing to validate his conclusion.
Furthermore, the director is assuming that students will not be able to afford more expensive housing off-campus. However, the director did not have any data or research indicating or exploring the reasons behind the raise in off-campus appartments’ rates. Perhaps, the reason of this raise is due to more renting by students in recent years. Maybe students choose to live in off-campus regardless of the economical factors. If these scenarios has merit, then the conclusion drawn in the original argument is significantly weakened.
Finally, the director is assuming that when admitting to new colleges, prospective students will base their decision on the attractiveness of new dormitories. However, if the director has offered for more evidence and widen his research, he might have found many more other factors that can be more important and detrimental in determining one’s future school, such as the quality of the departments, quality of research and study, and faculty’s rating.
In conclusion, the argument as it currently stands is considerably flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the director of the student housing will be able to offer more evidence, perhaps in the form of a systematic study, then it will be possible to fully evaluate the proposed recommendation that Buckingham college should build new dormitories. Unless additional evidence is provided, the readers of this memo should find it unpersuasive.
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| 2020-01-30 | lanhhoang | 66 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 360 350
No. of Characters: 1887 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.356 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.242 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.92 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 97 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.475 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.329 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.552 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.063 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 366, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'validating'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'convince' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: validating
...ntinue, then it will be more convincing to validate his conclusion. Furthermore, the di...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 394, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... convincing to validate his conclusion. Furthermore, the director is assuming th...
^^^^
Line 5, column 411, Rule ID: ECONOMICAL_ECONOMIC[1]
Message: Did you mean 'economic' (=connected with economy)?
Suggestion: economic
...to live in off-campus regardless of the economical factors. If these scenarios has merit,...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 469, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... this memo should find it unpersuasive.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, furthermore, however, if, look, may, moreover, so, then, therefore, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1974.0 2260.96107784 87% => OK
No of words: 360.0 441.139720559 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.48333333333 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35587717469 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.19842626233 2.78398813304 115% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.502777777778 0.468620217663 107% => OK
syllable_count: 609.3 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.8993963372 57.8364921388 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.666666667 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.88888888889 5.70786347227 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.195434747685 0.218282227539 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0710775118875 0.0743258471296 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.101467150773 0.0701772020484 145% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.117092264007 0.128457276422 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0596070937607 0.0628817314937 95% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 14.3799401198 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.5 12.5979740519 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.97 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 12.3882235529 57% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.