Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are tough to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Recent study shows that by encouraging children to be competitive and if it shows that they are strong and disciplined in what they do. Most of them will end up to be a useful citizen in our society in the future. In contrary to what other’s believed in, in my own opinion I do not agree with it, so this essay will discuss the two sides of the argument.
Let us take a look at the negative side of the situation such as encouraging a child to join sports like basketball, though he dislikes the idea at first but later on he became superior on it. It can be misleading in the part of a child if he cannot handle the situation very well. Through this competition a child may develop a negative trait like selfishness. He might even think of becoming a self-centered individual most especially if he consistently wins the game. By the time he losses the game, he will find it unacceptable anymore. Moreover, it shows that not all competition will enhance a child to become successful.
On the other hand, we will consider the upbringing and the environment of a child where he grew up. Nevertheless, a child with an enormous psychological support from family, relative and friends upon engaging in a competition will most probably create a better future. It simply means that even how bold the child to compete in a certain challenges if not properly supported, this thing will be doomed to failure.
In conclusion, influencing children to become competitive does not have a hundred percent assurance that they will end up successful. Even though how persistent they are they still needs a proper guidance and support from the elderly, for them to achieve whatever they are aiming for in the years ahead of them.
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By the time he losses the game
By the time he loses the game
they still needs a proper guidance
they still need a proper guidance
flaws:
The essay is not exactly right on the topic. It should like this:
1. introduction
2. advantages/disadvantages of competition
3. advantages/disadvantages of co-operation
4. In my opinion, blabla....
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 302 350
No. of Characters: 1382 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.169 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.576 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.758 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 89 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 68 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 49 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.571 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.129 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.857 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.339 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.568 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.174 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5