An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
Engineering a new breed of millet high in vitamin A in order to combat the deficiency in the people is a very intelligent response as millet is already a staple in their diet. However different delivery methods of vitamins will give different results body absorption, so it is imperative that the organisation backs up their claims that this will combat vitamin A deficiency with scientific studies with a test group of people from Tagus, as they will share similar genetic traits to the rest of the country. Additionally this will provide the opportunity to see if the taste is the same as the old millet, as well as texture and flavour. This is important because traditional people without education may be unwilling to adopt the new breed, or be suspicious of the international involvement. Ensuring the taste and texture are the same as the old millet will ensure less resistance to adopting it.
The subsidies paid to the farmers must be equivalent to the increased cost of the millet seed, or they would be unlikely to choose to buy a more expensive crop if they are not health conscious or wealthy, which is likely in an impoverished nation. If the subsidies do not cover the increased cost of the seed, farmers who do buy the crop would have to increase prices, and the people would be unlikely to buy the new crop, opting for the cheaper price of the old millet.
Another important question is the prevalence of vitamin A deficiency in Tagus. Is it an epidemic, or is it a very low ranked concern? Are there enough people effected by the deficiency to cause the government concern, and thus launch a campaign to promote the new type of millet? Introducing an enriched form of millet would be the most convenient option for the government to combat the issue, as opposed to diet changes which would require social changes, not as easily changed by a simple PR campaign.
The statement holds up logically if it is assumed that many people suffer from vitamin A deficiency, and studies have been shown that this new crop combats the deficiency. Furthermore, as millet is a staple, it is important to investigate how much in the diet would be required, and if there are any risks of having a diet too rich in vitamin A, as is the risk with a food staple which is likely eaten daily.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 404 350
No. of Characters: 1850 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.483 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.579 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.639 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 133 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.077 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.615 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.365 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.586 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.059 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 510, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Additionally,
...etic traits to the rest of the country. Additionally this will provide the opportunity to se...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
furthermore, however, if, may, so, thus, well, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1899.0 2260.96107784 84% => OK
No of words: 404.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.7004950495 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48327461151 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70458711119 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 204.123752495 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.477722772277 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 607.5 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 7.0 1.67365269461 418% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 31.0 22.8473053892 136% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 73.6866064922 57.8364921388 127% => OK
Chars per sentence: 146.076923077 119.503703932 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 31.0769230769 23.324526521 133% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.38461538462 5.70786347227 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.444111155564 0.218282227539 203% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.146274574385 0.0743258471296 197% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0791142537895 0.0701772020484 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.232875275191 0.128457276422 181% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0749925011335 0.0628817314937 119% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.2 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.47 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.57 12.5979740519 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.57 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 98.500998004 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 20.0 12.3882235529 161% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.4 11.1389221557 129% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.