Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific masons and examples to support your answer.
Personally, I disagree that the young ones should learn to manage finances at a young age. Childhood is a time for children to grow, learn and experience the joy of the world. It is in no way a good idea to put children under pressure to learn to manage their money. I feel this way for two reasons which I will discuss below in the essay.
First of all, I believe that childhood is a mirror which will reflect the entire life of a person. If a person had an awesome and happy childhood, he is more likely to be cheerfull, optimistic and successfull when he grows up. So, instead of pressuring children to learn about how to properly handle their financial activities one should promote activites that will increase the mental and physical capacity of the children. Just like everything has its own pace, children will learn to manage their money and become financially responsible at their own pace. And if we try to put this burden under children in a young age, it will likely harm their childhood and adulthood. I will share a story of my friend whose parents never bothered to teach him about managing money when he was young and he is bright person now. Though Dipak, is from a middle class family, his parents made his childhood as cheerfull as possible. They intimated him to learn, explore and have fun instead of being worried with worldly events. Although he was never taught to manage money at a young age, he is amazingly smart when it comes about handling money. He learned everything with time.
Furthermore, I think that if children are taught about managing money at young age then they will surely become a miserly person and this will ruin their adult life. Surely, this is not a good sign. I believe instead of money children should be taught about science, arts, dance, and etc. This way children will turn out to become experts on their life later on.
In conclusion, it is a terrible idea to teach children to manage their own money at young age. Instead of teaching them about money, I believe that they should be taught to explore life and encouraged to learn about science, arts, music, etc. There is also a high chance of children turning out to be overly frugal when they become adult.
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- Toefls ibt test1 Writing Integrated 1 68
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 113, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('miserly') instead an adjective, or a noun ('person') instead of another adjective.
... young age then they will surely become a miserly person and this will ruin their adult life. Su...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 281, Rule ID: AND_ETC[1]
Message: Use simply 'etc.'.
Suggestion: etc.
...d be taught about science, arts, dance, and etc. This way children will turn out to beco...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, if, so, then, i feel, i think, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 52.1666666667 109% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1833.0 1977.66487455 93% => OK
No of words: 396.0 407.700716846 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.62878787879 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46091344257 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.38166926437 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 212.727598566 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.474747474747 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 562.5 618.680645161 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 9.59856630824 177% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.5080608224 48.9658058833 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.2857142857 100.406767564 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.8571428571 20.6045352989 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.45110844103 73% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.28809782104 0.236089414692 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.102829224788 0.076458572812 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0918223709661 0.0737576698707 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.204932497989 0.150856017488 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0218836090476 0.0645574589148 34% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 11.7677419355 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 58.1214874552 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 10.1575268817 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.57 10.9000537634 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.2 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 86.8835125448 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.