New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Essay topics:

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

It is true that the way of children's spending free time has been transformed with the modern technology. Despite having a numerous advantages of playing with electronic gadgets, i consider that there are a few inevitable drawbacks.

On the one hand, a range of factors explain that there are some downsides of spending time with videos games,mobile phone and computers. Firstly, becoming children use to play with electronic devices leads to children's less communication skills and sedentary life style. To explain, youngsters have shortage of time to do exercise, which are necessary to keep their health physically fit as well as they are less likely to interact with people face-to-face as they become introvert. Secondly, if youngsters use their computers and mobile phones excessively in their free time, it would create plenty of health hazards for them.For example, children are glued with watching TV or serving Internet on mobile phone for number of hours that is why they may suffer from eye strain.

On the other hand, using advanced technology to kill spair time is more effective, which brings plethora of benefits to young people. First and foremost, youngsters get an opportunity to use digital appliance including with plenty of softwares, which enhance their cognitive skills. For example, by operating such kind of applications on computer children are come accrossed to a lots of features and also it inculcate the sense of self dependent as there is no one to teach them pertaining to distinct topics. Furthermore, android games are not only source of entertainment, but also it improve children's problem solving skills that how competitor can be lagged to win such kind of competition. Apart from this, internet provides abundance of information and material to students, which can be retrieved within a few seconds, so latest technology is immensely beneficial for young generation.

To conclude, although young people are benefitted with advanced technology, i think, it's downsides cannot be ignored.

Votes
Average: 8.4 (1 vote)
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2022-08-28 amyhoanglinh 89 view
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 132, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'advantage'?
Suggestion: advantage
...n technology. Despite having a numerous advantages of playing with electronic gadgets, i c...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 179, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...ges of playing with electronic gadgets, i consider that there are a few inevitabl...
^
Line 5, column 109, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , mobile
...sides of spending time with videos games,mobile phone and computers. Firstly, becoming ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 165, Rule ID: USE_TO_VERB[1]
Message: Did you mean 'used'?
Suggestion: used
...d computers. Firstly, becoming children use to play with electronic devices leads t...
^^^
Line 5, column 628, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
...reate plenty of health hazards for them.For example, children are glued with watch...
^^^
Line 5, column 659, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...for them.For example, children are glued with watching TV or serving Internet on ...
^^
Line 9, column 154, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...its to young people. First and foremost, youngsters get an opportunity to use dig...
^^
Line 9, column 380, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a lot' or simply 'lots'?
Suggestion: a lot; lots
...computer children are come accrossed to a lots of features and also it inculcate the s...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 411, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'inculcates'?
Suggestion: inculcates
...ossed to a lots of features and also it inculcate the sense of self dependent as there is...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 590, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'improves'?
Suggestion: improves
...ly source of entertainment, but also it improve childrens problem solving skills that h...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 829, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'so the latest'.
Suggestion: so the latest
... can be retrieved within a few seconds, so latest technology is immensely beneficial for ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 77, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...re benefitted with advanced technology, i think, its downsides cannot be ignored....
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, furthermore, if, may, second, secondly, so, well, apart from, for example, i think, kind of, as well as, it is true, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 13.1623246493 129% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 7.85571142285 64% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 10.4138276553 77% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 7.30460921844 123% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 24.0651302605 91% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 41.998997996 117% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.3376753507 96% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1718.0 1615.20841683 106% => OK
No of words: 321.0 315.596192385 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.35202492212 5.12529762239 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23278547379 4.20363070211 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89853585082 2.80592935109 103% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 176.041082164 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.613707165109 0.561755894193 109% => OK
syllable_count: 532.8 506.74238477 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 16.0721442886 75% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.2975951904 128% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 53.694286371 49.4020404114 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 143.166666667 106.682146367 134% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.75 20.7667163134 129% => OK
Discourse Markers: 13.4166666667 7.06120827912 190% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.01903807615 239% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.206895749451 0.244688304435 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0743635472176 0.084324248473 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.063592371105 0.0667982634062 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.119994604049 0.151304729494 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.088741321888 0.056905535591 156% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.1 13.0946893788 131% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.63 50.2224549098 73% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 11.3001002004 129% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.05 12.4159519038 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.65 8.58950901804 112% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 78.4519038076 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 9.78957915832 123% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.1190380762 123% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 132, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'advantage'?
Suggestion: advantage
...n technology. Despite having a numerous advantages of playing with electronic gadgets, i c...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 179, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...ges of playing with electronic gadgets, i consider that there are a few inevitabl...
^
Line 5, column 109, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , mobile
...sides of spending time with videos games,mobile phone and computers. Firstly, becoming ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 165, Rule ID: USE_TO_VERB[1]
Message: Did you mean 'used'?
Suggestion: used
...d computers. Firstly, becoming children use to play with electronic devices leads t...
^^^
Line 5, column 628, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
...reate plenty of health hazards for them.For example, children are glued with watch...
^^^
Line 5, column 659, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...for them.For example, children are glued with watching TV or serving Internet on ...
^^
Line 9, column 154, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...its to young people. First and foremost, youngsters get an opportunity to use dig...
^^
Line 9, column 380, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a lot' or simply 'lots'?
Suggestion: a lot; lots
...computer children are come accrossed to a lots of features and also it inculcate the s...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 411, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'inculcates'?
Suggestion: inculcates
...ossed to a lots of features and also it inculcate the sense of self dependent as there is...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 590, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'improves'?
Suggestion: improves
...ly source of entertainment, but also it improve childrens problem solving skills that h...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 829, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'so the latest'.
Suggestion: so the latest
... can be retrieved within a few seconds, so latest technology is immensely beneficial for ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 77, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...re benefitted with advanced technology, i think, its downsides cannot be ignored....
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, furthermore, if, may, second, secondly, so, well, apart from, for example, i think, kind of, as well as, it is true, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 13.1623246493 129% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 7.85571142285 64% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 10.4138276553 77% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 7.30460921844 123% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 24.0651302605 91% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 41.998997996 117% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.3376753507 96% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1718.0 1615.20841683 106% => OK
No of words: 321.0 315.596192385 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.35202492212 5.12529762239 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23278547379 4.20363070211 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89853585082 2.80592935109 103% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 176.041082164 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.613707165109 0.561755894193 109% => OK
syllable_count: 532.8 506.74238477 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 16.0721442886 75% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.2975951904 128% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 53.694286371 49.4020404114 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 143.166666667 106.682146367 134% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.75 20.7667163134 129% => OK
Discourse Markers: 13.4166666667 7.06120827912 190% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.01903807615 239% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.206895749451 0.244688304435 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0743635472176 0.084324248473 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.063592371105 0.0667982634062 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.119994604049 0.151304729494 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.088741321888 0.056905535591 156% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.1 13.0946893788 131% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.63 50.2224549098 73% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 11.3001002004 129% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.05 12.4159519038 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.65 8.58950901804 112% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 78.4519038076 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 9.78957915832 123% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.1190380762 123% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.