Learning is primarily a matter of personal discipline; students cannot be motivated by school or college alone.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position y

Essay topics:

Learning is primarily a matter of personal discipline; students cannot be motivated by school or college alone.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

While it may be true that our teachers in school, our family, our friends and in some cases our partners are a great source of motivation in different stages of our academic life, it is ourselves that in the end will find the motivation and put it in action to accomplish our goals, which in this case would probably be finishing school with good grades. In the next paragraphs, I will explain how is it that we are responsible for the production and management of our motivation to learn, and how other factors involved affect that motivation.

First, when we as students start school, we find our motivation to learn in our parents, who make the effort to bring us the best education they can, in order to improve our distant future at the time. Once we have entered school, we are still tyros to this new stage of life, and besides our parents, we find the motivation to learn in our teachers that not only give us our first lessons, but they also help us socialize and create bonds with our classmates, who after some time, could become our friends, and interacting with them, could be another source of motivation. While in this first steps we take in the new world of attending school, the real motivation to acquire will be ours. Our own curiosity will trigger the factors to start questioning about what the teacher presents in his class, or what our family and friends tell us about what we learn in school.

After, once we have acquired the basic knowledge that elementary school give us, we enter high-school in an age when we start deciding what we want to do in the future. Some do not have many clues of what they want to do, others think they have it all figured out. In any way, we decide what topics get most of our attention, and start inclining to certain themes and investigate more about them. In pursue of defining what we want to do and study later in college, we bolster ourselves into learning all that we want and need to realize that.

Later in college, we find that in order to truly learn, we must be disciplined in our methods. In this stage we acknowledge that others will not be around every time we need answers, hence the need for self-discipline and self-studying. We find that these characteristics will help us to obtain our goals in college and when we get a job. We also learn that they will help us build and fortify the personality and skills we will need in the future.

In conclusion, even when learning is impulse by others at first, we start to find our own reasons to learn, and later we develop the discipline and abilities that we believe will be of use to learn the skills needed in the field we want to work.

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and interacting with them, could be another source of motivation. //why you put a comma here?
and interacting with them could be another source of motivation.

While in this first steps we take
While in this first step we take

flaws:
Read the half of the topic: students cannot be motivated by school or college alone. it means school or college can still do something too. you only focused on 'Learning is primarily a matter of personal discipline;'

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 486 350
No. of Characters: 2122 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.695 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.366 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.395 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 116 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 83 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.028 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.467 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.458 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.669 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.376 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5