Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The prompt suggests that Pirouettes Ballet School is one of the most reputed dance schools in Elmtown. Pirouettes Ballet School has helped many of its students become great dancers and get recruited in some of the top dance companies. These are the evidences given by the prompt to suggest that every child should go to this school. I do not agree with this suggestion and would like to discuss three questions to verify these facts and decide whether the arguments are reasonable.
Firstly, the author says that Pirouettes Ballet School should be the ideal school for every child since they specialize in dancing subjects. I would like to ask if this school provides any other subjects in its curriculum apart from dancing? If some students are interested in sciences, economics or literature would this school be as effective as its dancing subjects counterparts? For instance, maybe most of the Elmtown students are interested in dancing but few (approximately around 20-30 students) are interested in fields apart from dancing, then will this school be as efficacious as the dance programmes. Therefore, this question is integral for the author's statement to hold true.
Secondly, the author says that Pirouettes Ballet School is the best dance school in Elmtown. So there could be a possibility that there are some world renowned dance schools which are not in Elmtown but in a nearby city. Maybe that school could be one of the topmost ranked dancing schools in the world and have even better qualified teachers and plethora of job opportunities. For instance, there could be a better school in the neighboring city there is a highly esteemed dancing university which has teachers who are world famous because of their achievements in this dancing field, extensive curriculum which provides internships to get job experience and give more opportunities than Pirouettes Ballet School to get more lucrative jobs at the top dance companies. Therefore, the lack of evidence weakens the authors arguments.
Thirdly, there is Pirouettes Ballet School, the name itself which suggests that they could only be teaching one form of dance, Ballet to their students. Perhaps the students were only becoming proficient in Ballet dancing and not other cultural dance or fusion dance forms. Maybe by limiting their teaching to only Ballet Dance form they were limiting the opportunities of the students and putting up a fallacious reputation of the best dancing school. For example, the students due to their limited skills of Ballet dance would only apply to top companies which specialise in Ballet. This would prove baneful for their career as they are confined to certain jobs which could be few in number.
Therefore we see, that there a number of loopholes in this argument and there are questions which the author needs to answer otherwise the conclusion drawn would fall apart or could tantamount to unrealised ramifications.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 476 350
No. of Characters: 2410 1500
No. of Different Words: 201 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.671 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.063 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.597 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 178 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 126 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.717 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.354 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.563 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.141 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 203, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...come great dancers and get recruited in some of the top dance companies. These are the evid...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ther the arguments are reasonable. Firstly, the author says that Pirouettes...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 664, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...fore, this question is integral for the authors statement to hold true. Secon...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he authors statement to hold true. Secondly, the author says that Pirouette...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 323, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'bettered', 'welled'.
Suggestion: bettered; welled
...cing schools in the world and have even better qualified teachers and plethora of job ...
^^^^^^
Line 10, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nce weakens the authors arguments. Thirdly, there is Pirouettes Ballet Scho...
^^^^^
Line 10, column 15, Rule ID: THERE_S_MANY[3]
Message: Did you mean 'there are Pirouettes'?
Suggestion: there are Pirouettes
...e authors arguments. Thirdly, there is Pirouettes Ballet School, the name itself which su...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 685, Rule ID: ADJECTIVE_IN_ATTRIBUTE[1]
Message: A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
Suggestion: few
...confined to certain jobs which could be few in number. Therefore we see, that there a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 685, Rule ID: FEW_IN_NUMBER[1]
Message: Use simply 'few'.
Suggestion: few
...confined to certain jobs which could be few in number. Therefore we see, that there a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...jobs which could be few in number. Therefore we see, that there a number of...
^^^
Line 13, column 4, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...s which could be few in number. Therefore we see, that there a number of loophole...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, third, thirdly, apart from, for example, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2469.0 2260.96107784 109% => OK
No of words: 476.0 441.139720559 108% => OK
Chars per words: 5.18697478992 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67091256922 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67444401067 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 204.123752495 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.43487394958 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 737.1 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 69.7692446569 57.8364921388 121% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.45 119.503703932 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.8 23.324526521 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.1 5.70786347227 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.25449101796 209% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.36918399295 0.218282227539 169% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.142518399431 0.0743258471296 192% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.1010326603 0.0701772020484 144% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.209033656104 0.128457276422 163% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.106784960483 0.0628817314937 170% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.12 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.83 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 98.500998004 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.