During the past year Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on the job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours Experts say that significant contributing factors in many on the job acciden | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

"During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Quiot and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amounts of sleep."

While it may be true that sleep deprivation increases the number of on-the-job accidents on two
factories, Quiot Manufacturing and Panoply Industries, the argument does not allow the conclusion
that the effect is caused by the only factor. Scrutiny of the statistics of accidents and the
employee`s reports the argument cites reveals that the evidence lends little credible support for the
author`s claim because it relies on a number of unsupported assumptions. It suggests groundless
cause-effect reasoning and uses imprecise and vague language.

The first significant assumption is that the decrease of time shifts would consecutively reduce the
number of on-the-job accidents. The problem is that the decrease may have other reasons such as new equipment or the education of the workers. Moreover, the author thinks that this reduction should be
followed by an increase in production. However, it is not obvious that the rise will actually be
because there is no justification of the outcome. This way, the absence of the information is crucial
for the estimation of the actual effect of the work shift decrease.

The second crucial assumption is that the provided statistics is correct and the experts base their
opinions on the solid research. The problem is that we do not know it. The sources of the statistics
may be biased, and it could not reflect the actual situation in both the factories. To add, there is
no specific information about the experts and their sources. It is possible that they are not actually
experts because we know nothing about them, so, their opinions cannot be truthful. In addition,
we do not have any knowledge about their sources. They may base their opinions on random and
non-scientific literature. Therefore, the lack of information about data and sources weakens the
author`s assumption, so, to improve his argument, he must provide more information about them.

The third important assumption is that both factories are similar. The problem is that we know
nothing about them except their names. The production process in one of the factories may be more
dangerous, compared to the same process on the other factory. Both the factories may have different
specializations. In addition, the number of employees and the term of the shifts themselves may vary,
too. Hence, we must know much more about these factories for the opportunity to provide the valid
justification of the argument.

There is not enough evidence to support the claim the reduction of the work shifts will actually decrease
the number of on-the-job accidents at Quiot Manufacturing, as the key elements of the discussion have
been left out. One must have knowledge about the situation within both the factories before and after
the shrinking of the work shifts, have precise information about sources of the author and the experts
that mentioned by him, and to consider the local and organizational context of both the factories for the
valid statements to be made. Unless the author can address these key issues, the argument is more of
wishful thinking as opposed to one that can yield actual results for factories.

Votes

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2023-07-27	KalyaniHarbola	58	view
2023-07-19	shubham1102	58	view
2023-06-15	Victory	60	view

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Comments

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 101, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rted assumptions. It suggests groundless cause-effect reasoning and uses imprecis...
^^^
Line 9, column 201, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hor thinks that this reduction should be followed by an increase in production. ...
^^^
Line 10, column 98, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t obvious that the rise will actually be because there is no justification of the...
^^^
Line 11, column 102, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he absence of the information is crucial for the estimation of the actual effect ...
^^^
Line 15, column 72, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... The problem is that we do not know it. The sources of the statistics may be biase...
^^^
Line 17, column 103, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t is possible that they are not actually experts because we know nothing about th...
^^^
Line 20, column 97, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ation about data and sources weakens the author's assumption, so, to improve...
^^^
Line 24, column 40, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... nothing about them except their names. The production process in one of the factor...
^^^
Line 26, column 102, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... term of the shifts themselves may vary, too. Hence, we must know much more about...
^^^
Line 36, column 81, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...can yield actual results for factories.
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, first, hence, however, if, may, moreover, second, so, therefore, third, while, in addition, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 28.8173652695 156% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 31.0 16.3942115768 189% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2703.0 2260.96107784 120% => OK
No of words: 510.0 441.139720559 116% => OK
Chars per words: 5.3 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75217629947 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91854627193 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 204.123752495 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.433333333333 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 809.1 705.55239521 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 16.0 8.76447105788 183% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 66.7215107743 57.8364921388 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.12 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.36 5.70786347227 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 32.0 5.15768463074 620% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 14.0 6.88822355289 203% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.105363267758 0.218282227539 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0286388983299 0.0743258471296 39% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0400278973165 0.0701772020484 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0297395092751 0.128457276422 23% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0352275820478 0.0628817314937 56% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.46 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.28 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 98.500998004 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, first, hence, however, if, may, moreover, second, so, therefore, third, while, in addition, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments