During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Quiot and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amounts of sleep.
The Following piece of information taken from the vice president of Quito Manufacturing blames high working hours, fatigue and sleep deprivation for more on-the-job accidents in Quito manufacturing then in the nearby Panoply industrial plant. He further adds on to say that Quiot manufacturing should reduce their employees working hours to ultimately reduce the number of on-job-accidents and increase productivity. However his line of reasoning is fraught with erroneous logic and conclusions.
Firstly, the vice president starts by saying that Panoply Industries has less on-job-accidents than Quiot Manufacturing due shorter work hour shifts. Whereas there could be ample of reasons other than shorter working hours which could have led to less number of on-job-accidents, such as better management, proper safety measures etc. The vice president also states figures of comparison like 30% more job accidents in Quito plant then in Panoply industry without sharing the absolute value of the percentage, that is there could be a possibility that Panoply Industries have lesser number of workforce than Quiot Manufacturers.
Moving on, the vice president also says that the experts claim that fatigue and sleep deprivation are among the major and significant factors contributing to on-the-job accidents at the Quito Manufacturing plant. Jumping on to this conclusion is based on faulty claims and irrelevant logic. There is no data specified to jump onto this conclusion. There is a high possibility that workers who encountered the recent accidents were the ones who were sleep deprived that to not due to longer hours of work but some other reasons.
Last but not the least, the vice president is quite sure that by shortening each of their three work shifts by one hour would ultimately result in lesser number of on-the-job accidents and would increase the productivity of the workers. Rather this could make the workers lazy and decrease the productivity. Even he fails at providing the evidence to the facts stated. The vice president undermines the potential of other factors that could led to on job accidents like proper safety measures and proper training to the workers.
The vice presidents arguments could have been convincing had he provided more concrete facts and data to support his augments. Throughout his arguments he was seemingly jumping from one point to another and disregarding the bleak lines of differences. In the light of the discrepancies discussed above, it can be concluded that the vice presidents argument lacks perspective and is unconvincing.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 404 350
No. of Characters: 2149 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.483 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.319 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.96 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 147 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 85 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 71 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.69 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.438 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.586 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.137 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 373, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hours to ultimately reduce the number of on-job-accidents and increase productivi...
^^
Line 1, column 419, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...ob-accidents and increase productivity. However his line of reasoning is fraught with e...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 238, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Rather,
...crease the productivity of the workers. Rather this could make the workers lazy and de...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, regarding, so, then, whereas, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 55.5748502994 110% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2186.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 404.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.41089108911 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48327461151 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.02436354065 2.78398813304 109% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.497524752475 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 669.6 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 67.7145954428 57.8364921388 117% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.588235294 119.503703932 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.7647058824 23.324526521 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.52941176471 5.70786347227 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.334387303066 0.218282227539 153% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0992998918431 0.0743258471296 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.102420859228 0.0701772020484 146% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.179829463205 0.128457276422 140% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0975450046495 0.0628817314937 155% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 48.3550499002 82% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.39 12.5979740519 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.69 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 98.500998004 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.