Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Having children is less important than it was in the past.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Be sure to use your own words. Do not use memorized examples.
In the past, most of the countries survived through labors that required great amount of healthy young people such as farming and war, which led to believing that children was the best asset in prospering the country. However, the era has changed and most of the countries do not require such extensive amount of people and having children to replace the old and demised people became less important. The reasons to why I believe that children is less important than the past will be elaborated in more detail below.
First of all, as technology advanced, people's lifespan grew accordingly and are able to work for longer years than before. People do not get sick easily and can avoid lethal diseases thanks to advancement in medical treatments. In the past, because people faced demise even at a young age, the average year of labor was approximately 10 years. However, these days, one person can work for more than 40 years in average, which can replace the labor of 4 people. Countries started becoming prosper only with few people working, which led to putting less pressure on reproducing. Also, thanks to the technological advancement such as robots, simple and hard labor did not require humans. Because of this, the importance of human labor became less important which led to having less children.
Furthermore, as time passed, the amount of money that need to be spent on nurturing one child surmounted the amount of salary one generally receives. I would like to mention South Korea as an example. In order to successfully grow a baby, one needs to have a protective house, a car, and someone who can spend their whole time on the baby. In the past, the requirements were easily achieved because it only required one person, usually being the father, to work full time to earn the necessary money. However, nowadays, it is nearly impossible to achieve the factors mentioned above even with both mother and father working full time. Due to this, more and more people decided to focus on spending their money on what they wish to pursue such as going on a vacation once a year or pursuing an expensive hobby, instead of having a baby.
To sum up, in the past, due to having to farm and going into war, having young and healthy children was mandatory. However, as people's lifespan grew as the technology advanced, and the amount needed to successfully grow a child surpassed the average salary of general people, the importance of having a baby decreased.
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| 2021-11-07 | tm11 | 90 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 774, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun children is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...came less important which led to having less children. Furthermore, as time passed,...
^^^^
Line 3, column 462, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled as one.
Suggestion: fulltime
...rson, usually being the father, to work full time to earn the necessary money. However, n...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 624, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled as one.
Suggestion: fulltime
...ven with both mother and father working full time. Due to this, more and more people deci...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, first, furthermore, however, if, so, such as, first of all, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 14.0 43.0788530466 32% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 52.1666666667 127% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2044.0 1977.66487455 103% => OK
No of words: 423.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.83215130024 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53508145475 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53438922169 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.505910165485 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 646.2 618.680645161 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 9.59856630824 31% => OK
Article: 8.0 3.08781362007 259% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.346510743 48.9658058833 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.555555556 100.406767564 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.5 20.6045352989 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.88888888889 5.45110844103 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.132172688308 0.236089414692 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0478496005935 0.076458572812 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0468025300747 0.0737576698707 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0926209718706 0.150856017488 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0384826835538 0.0645574589148 60% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 11.7677419355 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 58.1214874552 97% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.03 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.32 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 86.8835125448 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.