Q: In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on the society?

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Q: In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on the society?

In my opinion, the increasing number of older people has more negative impacts on the society. Such trend slows down the development of economy and put heavy burdens on the society.

Admittedly, the increasing number of the elderly contributes to the stabilization of the society. It is generally believed that, the more elderly there are, the lower crime rate in that region will be. In addition, with abundant hands-on experiences, the elderly can pass on their experiences to the next generation.They can help youngers to avoid unnecessary mistakes the youth would otherwise make in the workplace and daily life.

However, an aging society posts a threat to the economy in the society. With more elderly people, the proportion of workforce in the population is decreasing, thereby, decreasing the productivity and social efficiency of the society as a whole. Moreover, the development of innovative industry and Information Technology secure a good future of the economic well-being. However, the elderly are usually too conservative to handle these jobs.

Furthermore, excessive elderly people put medical and financial burdens on the society too. With less workforce and taxpayers, the demand of medical care is increasing. The elderly need to go to visit hospitals more frequent than the young do. Therefore, the demand for doctors, nurses and medical facilities will eventually outweigh that of supply, due to less workforce and taxpayers. Meanwhile, same theory applies to the individual families that each family need to shoulder more responsibilities of taking care of the elderly.

In conclusion, the drawbacks of the aging problem outweigh its merits, as it slows down the development of economy and put medical and financial burden on the society.

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Such trend slows down the development of economy and put heavy burdens on the society.
Such trend slows down the development of economy and puts heavy burdens on the society.

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Try not repeat words, phrases and sentences.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 277 350
No. of Characters: 1445 1500
No. of Different Words: 144 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.08 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.217 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.877 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 114 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.467 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.791 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.368 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.598 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.059 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5