Some people say that the government should control the amount of violent in films and on television in order to reduce violent crimes in society. To what extent to do you agree or disagree with this view?
Nowadays, television produces tend to create more violent and pornographic movies than before, which is for the purpose of making profits. Some people convince that violent crimes can increase crimes in a society. They think that the violent films or pornographic shows should be controlled by the government, while others argue that the television regulation may not ease the criminal problems in a society.
On one hand, there are many drawbacks from watching violent shows, excessively. Firstly, the violent contents can make people more aggressive. Some horrible acting movies present aggressive fighting ad horrible manners which can cause some people especially children to follow and act in reality. For example, if some movies present emphasis about stealing money, tricking others or killing people, it will impress some people to feel like to imitate these characters. Therefore, viewing violent shows can bring some negative impacts to people’s minds and may cause an increasing criminal in these days.
On the other hand, it is still involve with other factors such as personal cognition, environmental surroundings and individual’s perception which are more likely to cause an increasing of committing crimes in a community. Even though, some people do not watch inappropriate shows but they live in endangered environments, they may involve in gangsters or mafia gangs.
From my perspective, I agree that the public should considerate about the regulation of restricted violent media which can reduce a number of committing crimes. Banning some violent or pornographic scenes ma inevitable, but it the government limit showing time or strict, that those can only show in overnight which is only a few people can view that, it will be more practical solution for this issue. Moreover, encouraging movie producers to make some positive shows or useful documentary can also alleviate this problem.
In conclusion, entertainment programs have huge impacts on society. Some necessary policies are required for controlling the movie producers to promote useful information to the community rather than spreading criminal thoughts to audiences.
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it is still involve with other factors
it still involves with other factors
Banning some violent or pornographic scenes ma inevitable,
Banning some violent or pornographic scenes is inevitable,
but it the government limit showing time or strict, that those can only show in overnight which is only a few people can view that
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
it will be more practical solution
it will be a more practical solution
Sentence: From my perspective, I agree that the public should considerate about the regulation of restricted violent media which can reduce a number of committing crimes.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to should and considerate
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
'On the other hand' means 'However'. It doesn't mean 'On another hand'.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 330 350
No. of Characters: 1783 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.262 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.403 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.794 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 109 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.055 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.366 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.611 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.088 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5