In some countries, people who are unemployed receive a sum of money each week in the form of a benefit. While some support this, other people believe that this money should not be given.
Discuss both points of view and give you own point of view.
Unemployment in certain parts of the world are on the rise and these people have been receiving financial aids on a regular basis. Although some people are against this benefit, I believe there are those who deserved the money.
Opponents against such help claim that first and foremost these unemployed persons have been abusing the money to purchase illegal drugs or alcohol and create havoc in the community by causing physical injuries to others as they fight with them whenever they are in the intoxicated state. Also, there are those who solely depend on the aid and become unmotivated to search for jobs. They would spend the money on food and other necessary items such as slippers and simple clothing but would refuse to adopt the role of a self-reliant, independent worker that contribute further income to the family.
However, on the other hand, there are those who are really in need of monetary assistance from the government. The handicapped, either physically or mentally would benefit from such aid as they could no longer help themselves without relying on others. They would definitely require certain gadgets or physical aids or a maid or nurse to help them cope with their activities of daily living such as bathing or changing clothes. All these would require money. In addition, those poor single parents would need extra income to properly look after their children as they would be the sole breadwinner. They may not have the time to work for long hours and thus earning more money as they have to take care of the kids.
To conclude, while there are those not working who misuse the financial benefit, I believe there are deserving people who genuinely need the money to improve their lives. The government would probably need to set a strict criteria to deselect those former group of people for the benefit.
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| 2019-10-05 | Ankita7443 | 73 | view |
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flaws:
More sentences varieties wanted. Try to use less pronouns or not to use pronouns (like 'I, They, We...') as the subject of a sentence.
'On the other hand' means 'However'. It doesn't mean 'On another hand'.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 311 350
No. of Characters: 1508 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.206 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.818 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.338 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 98 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 73 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 44 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.357 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.997 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.343 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.595 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.087 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5