The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:
Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
__________
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
In the letter to the principal of the school, the author concludes that adopting a private vendor for the cafeteria department of the school can result in serious health consequences as, the students would not find the meals enjoyable and would, therefore, bring unhealthy lunches to the school. Although the cited pieces of evidence seem logical and probable, the conclusion relies on doubtful assumptions that do not lend credible support to the argument. Hence the argument seems logically unconvincing in several aspects.
Firstly, the author assumes that since she received complaints from her son and his friends about the available lunch option, therefore, all the students of the school might not like the food. But how many students have complained regarding the food options? If the author's son and his friends comprise only 3-4% of the total population of students then, it cannot be concluded that all the students of the school are dissatisfied with the food available in the cafeteria. Perhaps, majority of the students are comfortable with the new variety of food available as it is tasty and healthy at the same time. Also, the majority of the students might be attracted to the creative way the food is displayed by the company and hence would be inclined to eat the food available in the cafeteria. Therefore, the author should have provided additional information such as the number of students who are not satisfied with the food, to strengthen the argument.
In addition to this, the author assumes that all healthy foods which are low-fat and low-calorie must not be delicious and enjoyable. Perhaps, the healthy food that is provided is prepared in such a manner so that children find it tasty, and also its aesthetics might charm them into eating that food.
Also. maybe this company provides a wide variety of food options which change frequently. Therefore, a student who is not satisfied with today's menu might find the next day's menu as enjoyable and interesting. Also, the author assumes that the students are being honest when they claim that they are dissatisfied with the new food available in the cafeteria. Perhaps, the students are lying that they do not like the food because they want to bring their own less healthy foods to the school.
Finally, the author assumes that since the students do not find the cafeteria food enjoyable, therefore, they would bring their own, less healthy lunches to the school. However, what if the school has certain strict restrictions against students bringing their lunches to school. In that case, the student is left with no other option but to consume the healthy food provided by the cafeteria. Also, probably the majority of the other parents of the school may be highly satisfied with the company's service and their motive to provide healthy food to the children. Therefore, the author's complaint would not be considered effective and the entire purpose of the argument would be undermined.
To sum up, the argument consists of some obvious fallacies and loopholes. To strengthen the argument, the author should have provided additional information such as, the number of students who have complained about the cafeteria food, or information about the options and food that is provided by the company to the students, and the restrictions and rules of the school against bringing outside lunches by the students. But in the absence of this data, the argument relies on some doubtful assumptions that render it unconvincing as it stands.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 13 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 579 350
No. of Characters: 2877 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.905 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.969 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.568 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 215 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 173 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 120 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 68 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.174 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.805 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.87 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.361 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.532 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 460, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
... lend credible support to the argument. Hence the argument seems logically unconvinci...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 267, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ined regarding the food options? If the authors son and his friends comprise only 3-4% ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 465, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...able. Perhaps, majority of the students are loving the new food available as it is tasty a...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 676, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...yed by the company and hence would tend the eat the food available in the cafeteria. Th...
^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: As well
...ight charm them into eating that food. Also. maybe this company provides a wide var...
^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ight charm them into eating that food. Also. maybe this company provides a wide var...
^^^^
Line 6, column 6, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Maybe
...harm them into eating that food. Also. maybe this company provides a wide variety of...
^^^^^
Line 8, column 580, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...healthy food to the children. Therefore, the authors complaint would not be consi...
^^
Line 8, column 586, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...y food to the children. Therefore, the authors complaint would not be considered effec...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, hence, however, if, may, regarding, so, then, therefore, in addition, such as, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 13.6137724551 154% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 28.8173652695 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2895.0 2260.96107784 128% => OK
No of words: 569.0 441.139720559 129% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08787346221 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.88402711743 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61078548324 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 231.0 204.123752495 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.405975395431 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 854.1 705.55239521 121% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 18.0 8.76447105788 205% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.5539003403 57.8364921388 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.869565217 119.503703932 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.7391304348 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.39130434783 5.70786347227 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.166090720669 0.218282227539 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.055292321313 0.0743258471296 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0551886941947 0.0701772020484 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.102012462498 0.128457276422 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.035553879577 0.0628817314937 57% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 48.3550499002 115% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.54 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.93 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 98.500998004 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.