The following appeared on the Mozart School of Music Web site.
"The Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. First of all, the Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels; there is no audition to attend the school. Second, the school offers instruction in nearly all musical instruments as well a wide range of styles and genres from classical to rock. Third, the faculty includes some of the most distinguished musicians in the area. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to become well-known and highly paid professional musicians."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In this argument, the author states that the Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for the parents considering to enroll their child in music lessons. However the advice given by author suffers from several flaws and is therefore scarcely credible and unconvincing as it stands, albeit it may appear plausible at cursory glance.
To begin with, the very first reason stated by the author is questionable itself. The author states there is no audition required to attend the school, the question that arises here is if there are no auditions, then on what basis is a student granted inside the school? Even in our primary schools we are interviewed and then granted to get inside the school. Giving admits to any student in any school is a long process and requires the the child to be interviewed or auditioned. If there are no auditions, there must be some criteria of selecting a student. the author needs to mention the required information.
Secondly, the argument says, nearly all musical instruments as well as a wide variety of styles and genres are been offered by the school. In this case the author fails to mention what are the actual instrument and styles that are taught by the school because, 'nearly all' and 'a wide range' both of these are vague terminologies. These terms do not necessarily mean that all instruments and styles are been taught in the school. The author in this case must provide the actual numbers and lists of instruments and styles. let us consider an example, a child who wants to learn an Indian classical instrument 'tabla' and which is not offered by the school, in such a case why should the parents consider Mozart School of Music as their first preference?
In addition to this, the author says that the faculties of the school include some of the most distinguished musicians. The question that arises here is if the musician is a well-known, why would he/she ever need to work as a faculty in the school? For instance, if I am a well know dancer, why would i go and teach in the school, i would instead be busy with my performances and shows or I might have been busy in building up my own dance academy. I believe a distinguished musician would no way be appointed as a faculty in some school. This might all be exaggerated information given on the school website to attract more people to join their school. The author needs to mention more related information regarding faculties teaching in the school.
Lastly, the author states that many of the Mozart graduates have become well known and highly paid professional musicians. 'Many of the graduates' does not essentially mean 'all of them', the author fails to give the actual number of the pass-outs who have become successful professionals. The author should further state the actual numbers of such graduates, until this information is not provided this statement made by the author remains dubious.
In retrospect, the author seems precipitous to jump to the conclusion based on a series of problematic assumptions and deficient information pertaining the parents to consider Mozart School of Music as their first preference.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-03-02 | tedyang777 | 69 | view |
| 2022-11-25 | zanzendegi | 69 | view |
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| 2021-10-02 | pfftahsan | 73 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 537 350
No. of Characters: 2548 1500
No. of Different Words: 234 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.814 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.745 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.621 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 196 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.571 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.055 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.356 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.505 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.173 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 112, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[3]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'considering enrolling'.
Suggestion: considering enrolling
...uld be the first choice for the parents considering to enroll their child in music lessons. However t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 164, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...to enroll their child in music lessons. However the advice given by author suffers from...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 435, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...y school is a long process and requires the the child to be interviewed or auditioned. ...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 435, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...y school is a long process and requires the the child to be interviewed or auditioned. ...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 561, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...e some criteria of selecting a student. the author needs to mention the required in...
^^^
Line 3, column 221, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hat are the actual instrument and styles that are taught by the school because, n...
^^
Line 3, column 521, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Let
...rs and lists of instruments and styles. let us consider an example, a child who wan...
^^^
Line 4, column 80, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...hat the faculties of the school include some of the most distinguished musicians. The quest...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 303, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
..., if I am a well know dancer, why would i go and teach in the school, i would ins...
^
Line 4, column 333, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...why would i go and teach in the school, i would instead be busy with my performan...
^
Line 4, column 556, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...a faculty in some school. This might all be exaggerated information given on the ...
^^
Line 4, column 597, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... be exaggerated information given on the school website to attract more people to...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, lastly, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, well, for instance, in addition, as well as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 66.0 55.5748502994 119% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2608.0 2260.96107784 115% => OK
No of words: 536.0 441.139720559 122% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86567164179 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.81161862636 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71175998875 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 204.123752495 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.436567164179 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 797.4 705.55239521 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 15.0 8.76447105788 171% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.1377591536 57.8364921388 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.391304348 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.3043478261 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.13043478261 5.70786347227 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.361144054005 0.218282227539 165% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.11163794713 0.0743258471296 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.120990596487 0.0701772020484 172% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.211009792149 0.128457276422 164% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.105170302148 0.0628817314937 167% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.26 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.9 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 98.500998004 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.