The following appeared in a memorandum from the mayor of Wistfold.
“A recent study revealed that the number of children requiring medical attention for
illnesses in our town is 40 percent higher than in the neighboring town of Champsfield.
Last year the Champsfield school district implemented an educational program called
“Kerzac Plus” that promotes healthier habits among children. Because prepackaged
convenience foods have less nutritional value than fresh fruits and vegetables, Kerzac Plus
guidance led to banning the sale of candy bars and soft drinks in Champsfield schools.
Kerzac Plus also provides informational posters and live presentations for children that
explain the importance of healthy foods and exercise, as well as the risks of making
unhealthy lifestyle choices. The clearest explanation for the lower medical needs of
Champsfield’s children compared withWistfold’s is the introduction of the Kerzac Plus
program to promote student health.”
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could
rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account
for the facts presented in the argument.
It is always pertinent to find the exact cause of any illness in order to cure it. In this regard, the writer tried to explain the possible cause behind the findings which show that the nearby town, Champsfield, has almost 60 percent of children that require medical care in comparison to the ones of the children living in the author's town. The presented cause emphasised on the awareness program implemented by the latter city's administration. However, there can be other possibilities also that can be explored to reach at the conclusion.
The better health indicators of the Champsfield's children may not be qualified only upto the ban of ready to eat food and awareness program. It is likely that the town has such indicators due to its better municipality services which may include supply of clean drinking water, regular spray of disinfectants, efficient collection of garbage and adequate and timely cleanliness drives. These factors are vital in promoting better health and have a significant factor in preventive care. On the same side, there is a chance that the other town may not be upto date in these services in the areas where their children live. Because, children are supposed to be not mature enough to take decisions on their own, unclean and prone to disease surroundings make them more vulnerable. Thus, these things can also be the answers to the assertion made in the argument.
Moving further, it can't be denied that the reason behind the figures may be attributed to the condition of health infrastructure in these two cities. May be, the affected town has not quality preventive and curative care facilities. Without adequate number of qualified doctors and para medical staff, it is possible that these children could not get the prescription at the right time. It is possible that immunisation drives could not be implemented properly and due to lack of proper vaccination, immunity of the sick children could be reduced and they became weak to tackle the menace of diseases. Indeed, it is likely that these things are available in the latter city.
Therefore, it is immature to say that the more illness among the children in the writer's town is only due to the program implemented in the latter city. There can be other reasons which ranges from local services to health care facilities. Thus, the writer needs to consider these things in order to evaluate the argument
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-08-26 | tomlee0205 | 66 | view |
| 2023-08-26 | tomlee0205 | 60 | view |
| 2023-02-07 | pavithra ramesh | 69 | view |
| 2022-12-29 | Kuldip851 | 73 | view |
| 2022-09-28 | killer | 73 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 403 350
No. of Characters: 1968 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.48 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.883 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.67 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 144 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.389 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.111 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.312 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.483 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.059 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Wistfold children require…
Wistfold children require medical attention for illnesses than neighbour town Champsfield, This is because Champasfeild School, They implemented an educational program called “Kerzac Plus” that promotes healthier habits among children. Author provided the reason but supporting element or i will say proof is missing.
There are many problems due to which child can get sick or required medical help, Bad lifestyle habits is one of the reason that can be improve by Kerza Plus (promotes healthier habits among children). Suppose if Wistfold student already have healthier habits, they do not use to eat prepackaged convenience foods, or Wistfold school not use to sale of candy bars and soft drinks, In that case if Wistfold school arrange this kerza plus program, It will not going to help, leads to just money waste.
If Wistfold natural conditions is bad then Champsfield then it can be one of the reason, Student are not able to get fresh air or water. Due to lack of fresh water and air, they are facing medical issues or getting ill.
There can be may other reasons, ,May be student are suffering from stress due to workload of school, Wistfold children visit hospital more frequently or more concern about health, on other hand Champasfeild children use to ignore health problem.
If lifestyle is only reason about medical attention for illnesses in town then Wistfold school should arrange Kerza Plus program and make sure after program student improve their lifestyle, avoid prepackaged convenience foods and do exercise to improve their health then only this program can improve the condition of Wistfold.
could you please rate this
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 20, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
... in the argument. Moving further, it cant be denied that the reason behind the fi...
^^^^
Line 5, column 20, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'cants'?
Suggestion: cants
... in the argument. Moving further, it cant be denied that the reason behind the fi...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, so, therefore, thus
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2008.0 2260.96107784 89% => OK
No of words: 403.0 441.139720559 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.98263027295 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48049772903 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7193380719 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.493796526055 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 637.2 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.7970584206 57.8364921388 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.555555556 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.3888888889 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.66666666667 5.70786347227 47% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.12041718844 0.218282227539 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0389781539166 0.0743258471296 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0501076665154 0.0701772020484 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0842086430514 0.128457276422 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0298534000546 0.0628817314937 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.9 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.61 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.