In a recent survey conducted in this country, it was found that up to 20% of twelve year-olds in some schools were showing early signs of nicotine addiction. In the eighteen to twenty year age bracket the percentage was as high as 70%. A large contributing factor to this high level of addiction is attributed to the uncensored TV advertising of cigarettes. For this reason all cigarette advertising should be banned.
We are living in a society where is much easy to be influenced. Recent analyis conducted in our nation dimonstrate that kids of 12 have dependence to smoking and the situation get worse in adolescents between 18 to 20 years old. Many people claims that it is all fault of uncut televison publicity. Personally, I believe that the tv ad plays a important role in this matter but is not the only one reason.
Admettely, children tend to watch televisione in their free time and absorbs everything educational or not that is projected on it. Since the kids are more dependent to what them sees and feels because of their age, they are more exsposed to risk than the adult one. In my view, the harmful advertising should be banned on such a device like TV in order to avoid bad influence on teenagers. As a result, the number of children who smoke will decrease significantly.
However, a big amount of young people are more likely to smooke because they hung out with friends that already smoke. This generate into healthy persons a great sense of isolation, driving them to smoke and become like their others peers just for feels part of the group. Furthermore, part of the guilt goes to the parents who does not pay enough attention to their children. Therefore, it would be a good solution to ban all the uncensored tv advertising that could be dangerous for our children. Parental control on televison of new generation is another weapon that might be use to make sure to block inappropriate channel or content so that the young people can watch their favorite show in a more safety way.
In conclusion, as far as I am concerned, various measures should be taken to tackle this problems which affects mainly our new generation and ensure them a healty growth.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2018-06-12 | Honey Shah | 73 | view |
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- In a recent survey conducted in this country it was found that up to 20 of twelve year olds in some schools were showing early signs of nicotine addiction In the eighteen to twenty year age bracket the percentage was as high as 70 A large contributing fac 70
- Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? 40
We are living in a society where is much easy to be influenced.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
the situation get worse
the situation gets worse
Sentence: Many people claims that it is all fault of uncut televison publicity.
Description: The fragment people claims that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace claims with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Sentence: Admettely, children tend to watch televisione in their free time and absorbs everything educational or not that is projected on it.
Description: The fragment and absorbs everything is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace absorbs with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Since the kids are more dependent to what them sees and feels
Since the kids are more dependent to what they see and feel
Sentence: This generate into healthy persons a great sense of isolation, driving them to smoke and become like their others peers just for feels part of the group.
Description: The fragment This generate into is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace generate with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to others and peers
Description: The token for is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to for and feels
Sentence: In conclusion, as far as I am concerned, various measures should be taken to tackle this problems which affects mainly our new generation and ensure them a healty growth.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and problems
Sentence: Recent analyis conducted in our nation dimonstrate that kids of 12 have dependence to smoking and the situation get worse in adolescents between 18 to 20 years old.
Error: dimonstrate Suggestion: demonstrate
Sentence: Many people claims that it is all fault of uncut televison publicity.
Error: televison Suggestion: television
Sentence: Admettely, children tend to watch televisione in their free time and absorbs everything educational or not that is projected on it.
Error: televisione Suggestion: television
Sentence: Since the kids are more dependent to what them sees and feels because of their age, they are more exsposed to risk than the adult one.
Error: exsposed Suggestion: exposed
Sentence: However, a big amount of young people are more likely to smooke because they hung out with friends that already smoke.
Error: smooke Suggestion: smoke
Sentence: Parental control on televison of new generation is another weapon that might be use to make sure to block inappropriate channel or content so that the young people can watch their favorite show in a more safety way.
Error: televison Suggestion: television
Sentence: In conclusion, as far as I am concerned, various measures should be taken to tackle this problems which affects mainly our new generation and ensure them a healty growth.
Error: healty Suggestion: health
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 310 350
No. of Characters: 1423 1500
No. of Different Words: 192 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.196 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.59 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.565 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 95 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 67 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 45 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.143 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.988 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.293 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.519 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.067 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5