Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned while other disagree Do you agree or disagree To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement Give the reason and relevant examples

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Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned while other disagree.
Do you agree or disagree?To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement. Give the reason and relevant examples.

In recent years, extreme sports are growing in popularity throughout the world, and more people are taking part in dangerous sports and activities. Some of those sports such as mountain climbing, bullfighting and so on, however, are considered to be far more dangerous than the others. Due to the high risk of injury and death in these sports activities, many people believe such activities ought to be banned. While in the other hand, those opponents argue that it is their personal liberties to choose sports.

On one side of the argument there are people who believe that extreme sports can often cause extreme injuries or even fatal death to the participants. For example, dangerous sports like bullfighting which is set up to have a matador fight against an angry bull. Throughout the fight, the bull fighter might get serious injured or dies if he is pierced by the bull’s horns. Moreover, some of the dangerous sports lead to not only physically harms to participants, but also a negative effect on young generation. To be more specific, teens are more likely to be more aggressive and violent, when they see adults participating in a boxing match on TV. As result, those teenagers may try to imitate their favorite boxers to hit someone or knock someone off.

In the other hand ,those people say that even they know the consequence of taking such dangerous sports, they are willing to take the risks still. The main reason and the answer to this is simply the money. Those participants taking part in violent sports are not because of the sporting spirit, but because of the high rewards they bring. Vast sums of money are involved in those sport events and matches, such as heavyweight boxing and ultimate fighting. For instance, the tickets for the event are sold and there are millions of dollars profit from sports broadcasting rights fees and advertisements, not to mention the enormous amounts of money that are bet on the outcome of the events. Spectators are willing to pay huge sums of money to see those sports, because bloodthirsty and violence are part of human nature. People enjoy watching painful stuffs as long as it is happening to other people, not to them.

In conclusion, although people enjoy those violent and dangerous sports ,I believe they should be prohibited because they are barbarous and uncivilized. If we banned those vicious sports, it shows that we are moving one step closer to improving mankind

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2015-06-15 uponthesky 78 view
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In the other hand
On the other hand

flaws:
Sentence Length SD: 5.476 7.5 //"Sentence Length SD is low" means that the essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length.

More sentences varieties wanted. Try to use less pronouns or not to use pronouns (like 'I, They, We...') as the subject of a sentence.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 413 350
No. of Characters: 1979 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.508 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.792 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.512 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 144 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.737 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.476 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.314 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.488 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5