Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Which do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of another place? Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.
Depending on personal experience,character type and emotional concern, I find that some people hold the idea of living in one place for their entire life meanwhile others prefer to move place to place to make their life better. From my point of view, it is more advisable to moving in search for another please. My arguments for this point are listed as follows.
The main reason for my propensity for choosing the latter option is that I like meeting with new people, new cultures and desire to make my life colorful.
When you move to new places, there is an adaptation part to your house, to your neighbours and climate. For my point of view I find these processes exciting and fun. Because everytime you move to another place, you learn a lot of from your neighbours’ culture, their habbits, life style. You can establish many friendships with people from different culture, Every person may have boring periods in their lives and may be in need of a fresh start. First step of this start may be moving to another place.
The second reason is that the happiness of person is related with his/her family and job. If you are unhappy with your job, You’ll curse every morning when you you go to work and it will definitely have negative effect on your life and your family. In my point of view, looking for a better and suitable job for you is one of the most refreshing actings you may do in your life.
Besides, the further reason why I advocate of moving to another place is the climate. We know that climate changes even cure diseases. Even a small climate change can make someone happy and refreshed.
However it is still very difficult for some to prefer one to another because people might have a hard time to leave their friends behind when moving to another place yet that does not mean same for me.
Therefore from what we have discussed, I may safely come to conclusion that the moving in a search of another place, meeting new people, jobs have many positive effects and make our life much more liveable
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Comments
I'm trying to improve my
I'm trying to improve my writing speed (below 20 min) But ended up with a terrible essay. I understood the points you made,I'll be more careful. Thank you very much
Sentence: Because everytime you move to another place, you learn a lot of from your neighbours' culture, their habbits, life style.
Error: habbits Suggestion: habits
Sentence: Therefore from what we have discussed, I may safely come to conclusion that the moving in a search of another place, meeting new people, jobs have many positive effects and make our life much more liveable
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: liveable Suggestion: livable
...it is more advisable to moving in search for another please..
..it is more advisable to moving in search for another place..
flaws:
1.Need to remove repetitive words like ' In my point of view...'.
2.Don't use pattern sentences like in the first paragraph 'Depending on personal experience,character type and emotional concern, I find that some people hold the idea of living in one place for their entire life meanwhile others prefer to move place to place to make their life better. From my point of view, it is more advisable to moving in search for another please. My arguments for this point are listed as follows.'. People in ETS can figure them out.
3.You need sentences varieties. Don't always use You, I, She...etc as the subject of a sentence like in the forth and fifth paragraph, You as the subject for all sentences.
4. Don't try to use 'However' to change your idea at the end of the essay.
Let us know if you didn't get the points.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 365 350
No. of Characters: 1616 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.371 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.427 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.175 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 106 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 68 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 35 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.471 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.129 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.471 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.34 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.648 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.183 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5