TPO 34: Agree/Disagree: Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cellphone, online game, and social networking web site.

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TPO 34:
Agree/Disagree: Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cellphone, online game, and social networking web site.

Education plays an indispensable role in personal development. However, whether educating children is more difficult than it was in the past is worth of some debates. From my point of view, I am in favor of the statement that teaching children today is harder than before. My statement will be substantiated by following paragraphs.

First of all, it is hard for children today to concentrate on school homework or classes because of cellphones. The cellphones today are becoming smartphone, children can not only go on internet but also can play thousands kinds of game on the smartphone. Many students are playing game or using facebook in the class instead of listening to the teachers. The applications in the smartphone are designed to attract people to use and children are so easily to be addicted to using it because they have less self-control ability. Besides, a recent survey shows that the students who use facebook everyday have worse academic performance than the students don't use it everyday. Therefore, educating students become much harder than before.

In addition, the massive information on the internet make children difficult to tell what is right and what is wrong. There are so many incorrect messages on the internet and children tend to accept those messages even if those information are different to the school's textbook. For example, there is video called "three minutes to learn the algebra" on the Youtube, children are always attracted to see this video because it is so convenient and more interesting than the textbook. However, the video teaches wrong perspective in algebra and skips a lot of important calculation. Thus, the student academic ability becomes worse than before.

In conclusion, according to reasons mentioned above, I am convinced the educating children is more arduous than before based on the aspects of use of smartphone and wrong information on the internet.

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children can not only go on internet but also can play thousands kinds of game
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?

educating students become much harder than before.
educating students becomes much harder than before.

flaws:
No. of Different Words: 165 200

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 311 350
No. of Characters: 1573 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.199 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.058 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.805 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 118 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.438 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.2 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.318 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.508 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.075 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5