The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
According to the letter, the author recommends that Monarch Books should open a new cafe in their store to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books. At first glance, this recommendation seem persuasive; however, the unanswered questions lead me to conclude that this recommendation is unsound in many respects.
First, the author needs to answer the question whether it is sound to conclude that a new cafe will attract more customers. Since they not only need to discontinue one of their sections and make space, but also should construct a new cafe, it will take a long time. During their construction, a myriad of their customers may change their bookstore because Monarchy Books is noisy and unkempt. In this case, even if they can attract a few new customers, they will lose more number of old customers. Thus, they should take into account regarding the side-effects of the construction.
Secondly, the questions whether it is reasonable that the national census can be taken at face value. What I mean is that, since the census is regarding all national population, it is plausible that the population under ten in the city in which Monarch Books is located can be increased. Even if the population under ten of the city declined, we cannot corroborate that the demand for the children's book is also declined. All in likelihood, parents in the city may concern their children's education more than others and buy a plethora of books for their children. In this line of thought, the author cannot deduce that the children's book will become less popular.
Last but not least, the author should answer the question whether the innate conditions of Monarch Books and Regal Books were similar. The author argues that since Regal Books opened a new cafe and Monarch Books also need to do it to attract more customers than Regal Books. However, without ruling out other factors, the author cannot assume that Monarch Books can foster benefits more than Regal Books with a new cafe. What I mean is that, it is possible that their target customers are dissimilar. Monarch Books may attract customers who want wide range of books in that it is known for its wide selection for many years. On the contrary, Regal Books may already have open places and comfortable system and attract people who want to chat with strangers in the book store. Monarch Books may not easily attract customers that are already attached to Regal Books. Moreover, they can lose their old customers if they belittle the importance of old customers' penchants. Therefore, the author should rule out others factors to compare two book stores perspicuously.
In brief, the recommendation is not concrete on many grounds. In order to bolster the recommendation, the author should answer the questions whether they Monarch Books and Regal Books are similar, the national census can be applied to the city, and Monarch Books can attract more customers by a new cafe.
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argument 1 -- not exactly. We should suppose a café has been ready. Need to argue why 'they will lose more number of old customers.'.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 495 350
No. of Characters: 2401 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.717 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.851 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.508 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 165 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.522 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.965 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.87 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.345 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.529 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.125 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5