The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that
manufactures men's clothing.
"Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulty obtaining reliable supplies of high-quality
wool fabric, we discontinued production of our popular alpaca overcoat. Now that we have a
new fabric supplier, we should resume production. Given the outcry from our customers
when we discontinued this product and the fact that none of our competitors offers a
comparable product, we can expect pent-up consumer demand for our alpaca coats. This
demand and the overall increase in clothing prices will make Sartorian's alpaca overcoats
more profitable than ever before."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the
argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The vice president of Sartorian has prognosticated that the company would make great sales with their new product if the company increases apparel price, basing his argument on customer’s previous demand rate and absent of competitors who produce same wool. While the memo presents points to back this claim, these points all seems to debilitate the claim. This is because the argument rely on unjustified assumptions, non-logical reasoning, and false prediction.
To begin with, the vice president assumed that the customers, who patronized the company five years ago, would still be interested in the Sartorian’s products. This is logically flawed as the author fails to consider change in clients’ taste. Perhaps the clients have found interest in other products or brands. Or maybe the competitors, whom the president deemed not to offer comparable products, have started the sales of the product three years ago. Thereby, attracting all Sartorian’s clienteles. To improve this argument, the author need to show that customers are still interested in their product.
Let’s even assume the customers are still interested in Sartorian’s product.The vice president erroneously assumed that the new fabric, which was not said to be of the same quality as the old fabric, will meets the customers’ satisfaction. What if the new fabric is of less quality? Or perhaps, this new fabric has gone out of style and will no longer motivate people to patronize the company. To ameliorate the argument, the author needs to show that the new wool will meet the customers’ requirement, thereby galvanizing the clients to patronize Sartorian.
Additionally, the vice president assumed that the demand, which existed five years ago, and increasing the new apparel’s price would lead to tremendous increase in profit. Perhaps, this new wool is more expensive than the old wool. Thereby, causing price increment to lead to loss reduction rather than increase in profit. Also, present sales will not be like sales of five years ago since it is possible for Sartorian clients’s rate to have slumped. Hence, to strengthen the argument, the author needs to show that increase in the new fabric’s price will ultimately lead to increase in profit.
In summary, while the vice president of Sartorian seem to have presented reasons why the fabric might be profitable, these reasons tend to impair the vice president’s claim. Thus, to increase the cogency of this claim, the author need to validates these arguments. This will eventually make the claim logically sound and convincing.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 410 350
No. of Characters: 2094 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.5 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.107 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.619 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 145 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.524 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.995 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.476 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.313 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.529 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.056 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 77, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...still interested in Sartorian’s product.The vice president erroneously assumed that...
^^^
Line 5, column 206, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'meet'
Suggestion: meet
...he same quality as the old fabric, will meets the customers’ satisfaction. What if th...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, hence, if, may, so, still, then, thus, while, in summary, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 55.5748502994 86% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2187.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 409.0 441.139720559 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.34718826406 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49708221141 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85389253934 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.484107579462 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 655.2 705.55239521 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 57.7904965942 57.8364921388 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.142857143 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.4761904762 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.66666666667 5.70786347227 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.204732527382 0.218282227539 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0662048235388 0.0743258471296 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0548342953427 0.0701772020484 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.122866222646 0.128457276422 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0286336613287 0.0628817314937 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.75 12.5979740519 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.32 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 98.500998004 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.