THE cutting edge of technology has INDEED brought about a host of changes in how children spend their leisure time. While there ARE several merits OF THIS TREND, I concur that its drawbacks overshadow them.
To commence with, the upsides of modern technology ARE varied. First and foremost, ENTERTAINING games ON ELECTRICAL APPLIANCES can improve THE cognitive development OF CHILDREN. Strategic games often require players to POSSESS LOGICAL THINKING, PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS AND THE CAPABILITY TO TACKLE UNANTICIPATED situations, WHICH CAN BE ADVANTAGEOUS FOR THEIR STUDIES. Furthermore, SMART DEVICES CAN OFFER AN APPROACH TO A WIDE RANGE OF INFORMATION TO SCHOOL-AGE INDIVIDUALS. children CAN GET ACCESS to HUGE SOURCES OF KNOWLEDGE ON THE INTERNET, WHICH FACILITATES THEM TO start their learning process earlier, CONSEQUENTLY, they may have A chance to ENHANCE THEIR HORIZON ABOUT NUMEROUS ASPECTS OF LIFE.
However, I advocate that state-of-the-art technology has made some DETRIMENTAL/ADVERSE effects on the young. The first DRAWBACK is that children expending their time in front of the computer screenS tend to feel reluctant to work out. THIS ACTS AS A POTENTIAL JUSTIFICATION FOR A SEDENTARY LIFESTYLE IN CHILDREN. AS A CONSEQUENCE, THEIR PHYSICAL WELL-BEING CAN BE PUT AT RISK OF DETERIORATION. IN OTHER WORDS, THEY MAY ENCOUNTER VARIOUS HEALTH-RELATED PROBLEMS, NAMELY OVERWEIGHT AND SHORT-SIGHTEDNESS. ADDITIONALLY, A LARGE NUMBER OF games ON SMART DEVICES tempt people to continue playing for hours, which CAN UNFORTUNATELY lead to GAME addiction. CHILDREN TEND TO ALLOCATE AN EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF TIME FOR PROGRESSING TO HIGHER LEVELS; THUS, THEIR STUDIES MAY BE PUT IN JEOPARDY AS THEY NEGLECT THEIR ASSIGNMENTS DUE TO VIDEO GAMES. Take my cousin as an example. Since he IS ENGROSSED IN role-playing games, he usually keeps staying in front of the computer for hours to progress TO higher levels, WHICH RESULTS IN HIS POOR ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE.
In conclusion, while there are VARIOUS advantages of children MAKING USE OF their IDLE time on approaching modern technology, it seems to me that the downsides are more immense.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 475, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Children
... INFORMATION TO SCHOOL-AGE INDIVIDUALS. children CAN GET ACCESS to HUGE SOURCES OF KNOWL...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 518, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: Many; Numerous
...HT AND SHORT-SIGHTEDNESS. ADDITIONALLY, A LARGE NUMBER OF games ON SMART DEVICES tempt people to ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 890, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... as an example. Since he IS ENGROSSED IN role-playing games, he usually keeps sta...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, furthermore, however, if, may, so, thus, well, while, in conclusion, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 10.4138276553 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 7.30460921844 110% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 24.0651302605 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 52.0 41.998997996 124% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.3376753507 108% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1816.0 1615.20841683 112% => OK
No of words: 330.0 315.596192385 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.50303030303 5.12529762239 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.26214759535 4.20363070211 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.28183916723 2.80592935109 117% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 176.041082164 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.618181818182 0.561755894193 110% => OK
syllable_count: 553.5 506.74238477 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 5.43587174349 166% => OK
Article: 4.0 2.52805611222 158% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 16.0721442886 106% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.2975951904 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.0982498905 49.4020404114 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.823529412 106.682146367 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.4117647059 20.7667163134 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.11764705882 7.06120827912 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.9879759519 125% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.210777422187 0.244688304435 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0625498971672 0.084324248473 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0710474584398 0.0667982634062 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.143682717456 0.151304729494 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0348921414048 0.056905535591 61% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 13.0946893788 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.73 50.2224549098 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 11.3001002004 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.62 12.4159519038 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.13 8.58950901804 118% => OK
difficult_words: 116.0 78.4519038076 148% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 9.78957915832 107% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.1190380762 95% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.