Young people spend much of their free time on shopping malls It has negativeeffects in both young people and the society that they live in To what extent do youagree or disagree

Nowadays, it is observed that young people spend their leisure time a lot at shopping centers. Some people believe that the phenomenon has negative impacts in both them and the society that they lived in. I strongly disagree with this point of view.

In this developing era, many shopping malls had been built providing a convenient shopping and entertaining experiences for society including young people. Interestingly, shopping malls are now used by young group for recreation and refreshing during their free time. They now are more likely to go to shopping mall than to do their hobbies. However, in my opinion this truly give positive impacts instead of negativities. Shopping is evidently relaxing activities that can increase happy hormones. A recent study in Indonesia reported that young adult who liked to spend their day off for shopping had higher levels oxytocin on their blood than those who only stayed at home. Additionally, shopping malls also offer various entertainment spots like game zone and cinema which also beneficial for the visitors. Playing game and watching movies on cinema would also increase happy hormones.

Regarding to society that the young people lived in, the high visit in shopping centers would also make some beneficial. The more visitors at shopping malls the more trades and sales would be made. Hence it will increase the profit of the sellers and merchants at the shopping malls. This profit would directly impact to the economics grow. Additionally, the higher visit at shopping malls would also create more opportunity for local products to be sold at the malls which lead to the higher sales and profit for the locals.

To sum up, young people who spending a lot of their leisure time at shopping malls would give many beneficials both in their self and the society that they lived in.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (2 votes)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 199, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...he more trades and sales would be made. Hence it will increase the profit of the sell...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 167, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...elf and the society that they lived in.
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, hence, however, regarding, so, in my opinion, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 13.1623246493 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 7.85571142285 102% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 10.4138276553 86% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 7.30460921844 164% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 24.0651302605 112% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 41.998997996 90% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.3376753507 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1541.0 1615.20841683 95% => OK
No of words: 303.0 315.596192385 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08580858086 5.12529762239 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.17215713816 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52861715904 2.80592935109 90% => OK
Unique words: 156.0 176.041082164 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.514851485149 0.561755894193 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 469.8 506.74238477 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 4.0 2.52805611222 158% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 16.0721442886 106% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.2975951904 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.5119109934 49.4020404114 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.6470588235 106.682146367 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.8235294118 20.7667163134 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.58823529412 7.06120827912 51% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.365780834714 0.244688304435 149% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.125082971801 0.084324248473 148% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.115572913926 0.0667982634062 173% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.285144260747 0.151304729494 188% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.105682773056 0.056905535591 186% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 13.0946893788 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 50.2224549098 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 11.3001002004 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 12.4159519038 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.92 8.58950901804 92% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 78.4519038076 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 9.78957915832 72% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.1190380762 87% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 199, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...he more trades and sales would be made. Hence it will increase the profit of the sell...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 167, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...elf and the society that they lived in.
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, hence, however, regarding, so, in my opinion, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 13.1623246493 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 7.85571142285 102% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 10.4138276553 86% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 7.30460921844 164% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 24.0651302605 112% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 41.998997996 90% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.3376753507 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1541.0 1615.20841683 95% => OK
No of words: 303.0 315.596192385 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08580858086 5.12529762239 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.17215713816 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52861715904 2.80592935109 90% => OK
Unique words: 156.0 176.041082164 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.514851485149 0.561755894193 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 469.8 506.74238477 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 4.0 2.52805611222 158% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 16.0721442886 106% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.2975951904 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.5119109934 49.4020404114 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.6470588235 106.682146367 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.8235294118 20.7667163134 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.58823529412 7.06120827912 51% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.365780834714 0.244688304435 149% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.125082971801 0.084324248473 148% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.115572913926 0.0667982634062 173% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.285144260747 0.151304729494 188% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.105682773056 0.056905535591 186% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 13.0946893788 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 50.2224549098 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 11.3001002004 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 12.4159519038 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.92 8.58950901804 92% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 78.4519038076 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 9.78957915832 72% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.1190380762 87% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.