There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays? (rewrite1)
No one can argue that a rich variety of music genres can be found easily in every corner. Human beings have experienced music several aspects in lives and people realize that music is necessary. Consequently, it becomes a controversial topic in societies about why human lives need music and whether traditional music is more valuable than international music or the other way around. Both sides will be discuss carefully.
To begin with, music is an important source of entertainment as music accompanies in several activities of human lives. Since the first stage, children are learning the meaning of words and the basic sentence structures through songs. Music works as relaxing therapy and helps to rejuvenate human emotions. Moreover, music even use in medical remedies, religions or national ceremonies, thus music is a vital part of human societies that we all experiences throughout our lives.
On the other hand, in term of traditional music, it holds a special value and attaches to local people for a couple reasons. Firstly, traditional music is very precious, invaluable and evergreen as it symbolizes heritage, norm and customs in a certain area. Purity and simplicity of traditional songs make its own unique. The essences of beautiful music, which made from local musicians who experience the same customs, can send a message precisely and create a deep connection to participants rather than international songs that are produced from other regions. Secondly, traditional music represents country cultures and bring the unity to a nation. This music genre, which is often made from the sacrifices of previous generations, could promote the patriotism of citizens. Therefore, traditional music still has its own importance over international music as it reflects traditions and cultures of a nation.
On the other hand, it is undeniable that international music is predominant all over the world. Most people especially younger groups, gravitate towards the international genre because it is more fun and entertaining. Since the demand of international songs increase dramatically by many folds, the international genre has superseded the traditional one. It is also expected that the popularity of international songs will continue grow and overcome the traditional one, eventually.
In conclusion, music is a necessary part of enjoyment in human lives. Even though, younger generations are always preferred international songs these days, traditional music is still invaluable as it holds long history and provides a strong connection with locals.
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or the other way around.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 397 350
No. of Characters: 2121 1500
No. of Different Words: 215 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.464 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.343 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.009 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 68 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.905 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.934 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.343 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.546 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.098 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5